My idea of how season 9 should have been
by Lacey99
Summary: What the title says.
1. Chapter 1

Season 9

The characters are not mine and all that...

Chapter 1

The room was quiet and their breathing had returned to normal. It occurred to Mac that she felt better than she had in a long time, the stress had left her body and she felt relaxed for the first time since she had set foot in Paraguay. What had possessed them to do it? The stress of the situation? Was this the reason he had come after her maybe, to get the girl? He hadn't said anything since he kissed her nineteen minutes and thirty seconds ago, but their activities weren't meant to be done while having a conversation. What was he thinking? Why didn't he say anything? Mac felt the need to move her head, so that she could see his face, but she didn't feel brave enough. This wasn't the way she had imagined their first time to be like, not that she had really imagined them having sex, but she had always thought there would be a more romantic setting. She took a deep breath and released it slowly, before turning her head to the side. He was staring at the ceiling, his attitude relaxed, but it did look like he was dwelling on something. Should she talk first?

She cleared her voice. "So?" Was all she could say.

He didn't turn towards her, only continued to stare at the ceiling.

Mac gave him a minute. "Aren't you going to say something?"

Finally he turned his head in her direction; he was about to say something when they heard a key in the door lock. Both sprung into action, finding their clothes from the floor before grabbing their guns and rushing to the door.

"Did your wife follow you down here?" Mac asked with sarcasm.

"No, it's your husband." Harm answered in a snide tone.

Mac rushed over to give Clayton Webb a hug. "Clay, thank God you're okay."

Clay winced at her hug and she hurried to step away from him. "How did you get a key?"

"The doorman remembered me; he said you were here screwing another man." Clay slowly moved to the couch to sit down.

"That rat." Mac said as she helped him sit down.

They shared information until Clay started questioning Harm's presence.

"What are you doing here Rabb?"

"I came for Mac." Harm answered, glancing at Mac as he spoke.

Clay rolled his eyes. "Well off course you did, I wasn't expecting it to be for me. How did you get the Admiral's permission?" Clay questioned.

"I resigned my commission." Harm didn't have the nerve to face Mac as he said it.

Mac was surprised. "Are you insane? Why didn't you tell me?"

Harm shrugged his shoulders. "There wasn't any time."

"You found the time to tell Webb." Mac snapped.

"It's no big deal Mac." Harm tried to act like it didn't matter.

"No big deal! Harm, this job is your life, it's all you've got." Mac didn't buy his act.

Harm felt like someone just ripped his heart out and stamped on it. "I had to find you." He snapped. "I'm starting to think that was a mistake." He mumbled.

Mac was about to respond, but Clay rose from the couch and walked towards the bedroom. "This is where we spent our wedding night Sarah." He passed out and Mac and Harm grabbed him and led him to the bed.

"Must have been a nice wedding night." Harm commented as they helped Clay off with his clothes. "Maybe you should take his clothes off Mac, after all you have the experience."

Mac gave him an angry glare. "Go to hell Harm."

"I think I might have preferred to be there." Harm threw back."

A little while later

They arranged for an extra room and Mac left Webb in Gunny's care for the night. Why she wanted to stay with Harm, she didn't really understand. She would have preferred to be all alone with her thoughts, but decided that it wasn't all that safe to get a room by herself at the moment. Who knew where Sadik Fahd was or when he would show up.

Mac and Harm didn't say another word to each other, neither of them knew what to say. They went to bed and Mac turned her back to him. She couldn't sleep though, too much was going on in her head. She turned in bed and tried to get a larger part of the sheet.

"What's on your mind?" Harm asked without moving his body to help her get more of the sheet.

Mac gave up her hunt for the sheet and turned towards him. "Oh, I have a lot on my mind."

"Well, spit it out." Harm was very interested in her thoughts at the moment.

"You resign your commission and travel all this way to come find me, then you act like you aren't even glad to see me. You have been acting like a complete jackass since I first saw you at the Hacienda." Mac accused.

"Is there a question in there somewhere?" Harm knew he was throwing fuel on the fire, but frankly he didn't care.

"Why?" Mac sat up in bed and penetrated him with her eyes.

"I told you; I came here to find you." Harm got out of bed. "I was a little occupied with getting us out of there alive, or I might have stopped to give you a hug." The last part was added with irony.

"You aren't even glad to be here with me right now either, you've been awful." Mac ran a hand through her hair in frustration. She felt the urge to cry, but bit back the tears.

"You didn't think I was awful when you slept with me about an hour ago, in fact I'm pretty sure I remember you screaming my name." He barked.

Mac got out of bed and walked away from him, she sat down on the sofa in the other room.

Harm followed her. "But maybe my name isn't the only one you've been screaming in that bed?"

Mac felt like someone had just slapped her across the face, she felt a tear escape her eye and she hurried to wipe it away.

"Mac." Harm's voice was calmer now. He stepped closer to the sofa and touched her shoulder. "I'm s..."

Mac slapped his hand away from her and stood. "Just leave me alone Harm."

Harm followed her back to the bedroom again. "Can we talk about this?"

Mac shook her head. "No, not now."

Harm nodded. "You're right, let's table it until another time and let's get some sleep."

Mac threw a pillow at him and stripped one of the sheets off the bed. "You can use the sofa." She lay down on the bed and pulled the sheet over her before turning away from him.

Harm picked the pillow and sheet up from the floor and turned away from the bed. He walked over to the sofa and sat down. Running a hand over his head in frustration, he took a deep breath and released it slowly. "That didn't go so well." He mumbled to the empty room. "Not well at all."

The next day

They were standing outside the hotel, Mac and Webb had stepped away from Harm and Gunny and Harm was curious as to what they were talking about. He couldn't help but to feel jealous by the way Mac was around Webb, she was acting like a concerned wife. When she hugged him, Harm had to turn away. He couldn't help the sting of jealousy that he felt.

Eventually Webb and Gunny left in a cab and another cab drove up to them. Harm opened the door for Mac, but she didn't step into the car.

"Time to go home, Mac." Harm said.

Mac looked around. "I want to remember all this."

"All what?" Harm questioned.

"For a few weeks everything was larger than life..."

Harm cut her off. "The grass was greener, the sun was brighter. You're not going to break into a song are you?"

"You always take the joy out of everything." Mac accused. "I want to remember this because in a way it has changed the way I look at life. I'm glad to be alive and..." She hesitated.

"And?" Harm asked, eyebrows raised

"I just... I'm just happy to be alive." She finally said.

Harm nodded. "Okay then. Ready to go?"

Mac hesitated. "Tomorrow is another day, I really don't want to be rushed."

Harm chuckled. "You want to stay for a few days in this charming place? I can think of many better places for a vacation."

Mac nodded. "You're right and one of these days I'll take one of those vacations." She let out a slow, nervous breath. "You know that discussion you said we would table for another time?"

"Now isn't the time Mac." Harm warned.

Mac ignored him and continued. "We won't work Harm. You and I both want to be on top and that's not possible. I can't do this anymore, I just can't continue this dance."

Harm felt a chill down his back. "Mac..."

"Let's go home." Mac got into the cab before Harm could say anything more.

He decided to let the discussion wait until they were back in D.C, but there was no way he'd let Mac give up on them.


	2. Chapter 2

Season 9

Chapter 2

Mac didn't notice where she was driving, her mind was far away from her destination at the moment, but her autopilot had to be working well because she found herself in front of her apartment suddenly. She didn't leave the car though, her hands were resting in her lap and her head was leaned back against the seat. The week had been long and not very successful. She had messed up by handing that file over to Bud and in return she got chewed out by a two star General. In one way that was the highlight of her week, because everything else seemed worse than that right now. Harm had lost his job at JAG, he was out of the military and apparently he would become a spook. He would be flying for the CIA and Mac felt like someone had stepped on her heart the moment she heard about it; she had turned around and left the hospital after overhearing the conversation between Harm, Clay and Miss Gale. Clay was another one of her problems; he wanted her as more than a friend, Mac however wasn't sure if she could go down that road. She cared for him deeply, but it was as a friend. Her heart belonged to Harm and even if they didn't talk at the moment, she couldn't just turn off her love for him. It was impossible to do.

Mac decided it was time to leave her car and go inside, she slowly opened the door and got out. Her legs carried her into the building and upstairs to her apartment, but as with her drive it was on autopilot. She couldn't get Harm off her mind; the way he touched her that night, the way he kissed her that night and the way he looked at her when she declared that they would never work. Why did she say that? She decided to blame it on the situation, they had been behaving horribly towards each other. But why hadn't he fought her when she said it? She had to talk to him.

Harm's apartment

Later that night

Harm was playing his guitar, thinking back through his years in the NAVY, people he had met. His mind wandered, but in the end there was only one person's face he could see. Mac's. What a mess they had created. He couldn't help but to think of her; the way she had touched him that night, the way she had kissed him that night and the way she had stabbed him in the heart by telling him that they would never work. When he thought about it, he couldn't blame her for coming to that conclusion. They had been acting terrible towards each other, he had accused her of sleeping with Clay and she...What had she really done? Could he really blame her for what she said, he hadn't given her any reason to believe that he was happy to see her alive. After the kiss she shared with Webb, he had been jealous and snide. He had to talk to her, they couldn't end it like that.

He was about to put his guitar down when there was a knock on the door. He wasn't in any mood for company, but he decided to open anyway.

He came face to face with Mac and he froze.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" She asked.

He stepped back. "Come on in."

He closed the door and turned to her. "I was about to go see you."

She was surprised. "Really?"

He nodded. "I think we have some stuff to talk about."

Mac sat down on his sofa. "Like you getting a new job?"

"How did you know?" Harm sat down as well.

"I was at the hospital when you talked to Clay." Mac admitted hesitatingly.

Harm was confused. "I didn't see you there."

"I left before anyone noticed me." Mac rubbed a hand across her face before she took a cleansing breath. "You'll be a spook." She stated.

He leaned back on the sofa and crossed his arms over his chest. "How do you feel about that?"

Mac let out a slow breath. "I don't know what I'm feeling, scared, angry, maybe both."

Harm nodded. "What are you scared of?"

"Losing you." Mac whispered.

Harm nodded again. "What are you angry about?"

"That you're leaving me behind." Mac stood.

Harm shook his head in frustration and stood as well. "What do you want me to do then? I need a job."

Mac tuned, confronting him. "But do you need to be in the CIA?"

Harm nodded his head. "The pay is good and I'll get to fly."

"What about...me? Us?" Mac questioned.

Harm laughed softly and shook his head. "According to you, there's no us."

"Well, you didn't fight me." Mac accused.

Harm chuckled. "You wanted me to fight you?" He shook his head again as if it would make him understand their dance better if he did.

"I was just trying to make you show me how you feel, you are impossible to read. One minute you act like a jerk and the next minute you..." She looked away, a little embarrassed.

"I'm what?" He stepped close to her. "Kissing you? Undressing you?" He stepped even closer to her, putting his hands on her hips. "I could do it again you know."

Mac forgot how to breathe and she didn't look at him. "What makes you think I'll let you?" She whispered.

He put one of his hands on her cheek and made her face him. "You are not pushing me away." He leaned in and kissed her

Mac closed her eyes and leaned on him, putting her hands behind his head and pulling him closer. She could feel his hands on the inside of her sweater and when he pulled her body close to his she could feel how excited he was.

Later

It occurred to Mac how comfortable Harm's bed was, the mattress wasn't too soft, but not too hard either. She felt him move beside her and soon his hands were caressing her body. She let out a moan and moved closer to him, finding his mouth with hers. She was surprised by his short recovery time, but decided that it was a nice surprise.

Even later

"You have a very a comfortable bed, where did you get this mattress?" Mac asked about twenty minutes later.

Harm ran a hand up her thigh and to her stomach. "If you had time to think about whether my bed is comfortable or not, I must not be doing this right."

"Your performance was very impressive." She felt a little naked all of a sudden and pulled a sheet over her body.

"A little late to be modest, I've already seen you naked." He commented.

"I was there, I know how naked I was." She replied and pulled the sheet tighter around herself. "When do you start your new job?"

"Aha, it's time to touch the serious subjects..." He covered himself with a sheet as well. "Better not be naked for that huh?"

Mac sat up in bed. "So?"

"We haven't talked over the details yet, why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Just wondering."

"If you have something to say, just say it."

"I'm just worried." Mac was annoyed.

"Your boyfriend Webb is in the CIA and you don't seem too worried about that." Harm commented dryly.

Mac got out of bed and started looking for her clothes. "Go to hell Harm. Why do you always have to ruin everything?" She grabbed all her clothes and went to the bathroom. She dressed hurriedly before she went back to the bedroom, hurried past Harm and went to the front door.

"Mac." Harm came after her, clad only in his boxers.

"I'm leaving." She opened the door.

Harm reached for her arm. "We were having such a good time."

Mac got into his face. "Let go of my arm or I'll break yours." She warned.

"Don't be like this Mac." He gave her a sweet smile. "I'll apologise if you stay."

"I mean it Harm, let me go!" She yelled and pushed him away. "I don't want your stupid apology."

Harm stepped away from her. "I'm sorry."

She walked away from him and got into the elevator, as it went down she could see that he had stepped out in the hallway and he was calling her name. She didn't care; Harmon Rabb could go to hell.


	3. Chapter 3

Season 9

Chapter 3

Harm was finally finished with his debriefing after his first assignment as a CIA pilot. It had been an interesting one, that's for sure. O'Neil was a good partner, she kept her head and she had some decent ideas. Even though Harm tried to pretend otherwise, deep down he missed Mac; she hadn't wanted to talk to him since the incident at his apartment three weeks ago. He had left her messages, sent her flowers and showed up at her door, but she had ignored him completely. He had been a jerk to her, bringing up Webb like that. When would he learn?

"They finally let you go?" O'Neil approached him, a big smile on her face.

Harm nodded. "Finally. I thought I'd never get out of there."

"Well, I'm going home. I need some downtime after this excitement." O'Neill started walking. "What are you going to do?"

Harm followed her. "I better see if my last partner is still talking to me."

"Aren't you afraid that it might be over if you talk to her again?"

Harm chuckled. "Isn't it all over if I don't talk to her?"

"You make a good point there. What really happened?" O'Neil was curious.

"It's a long story, I'll tell you sometime. I better see if I can make Mac forgive me."

"Mac?"

Harm nodded. "Lt Colonel Mackenzie, you met her."

"Yeah, I remember her. She's a beautiful woman, not easy to forget. So what happened, did you sleep with her?" O'Neill laughed. "Is that why you two don't talk?"

"I... It's complicated." Harm had reached his car and unlocked it. "I don't want to lose her."

O'Neill nodded. "Just say you're sorry."

Harm wrinkled his nose. "It's not that easy with her."

"Buy her flowers." O'Neill suggested.

Harm shook his head. "Not going to work either."

"Then I don't have any more advice. Is she worth it?"

Harm nodded. "Absolutely."

"Then you do everything you need to do in order to get her back." O'Neill waved her hand. "I'll see you around Harm. "

"Bye." Harm watched her go before he got into his car. He wanted to go see Mac, hopefully she would at least let him in and maybe let him talk before she yelled at him.

Mac's apartment

Mac was sitting on her sofa watching TV; her mind was, as usual, on her former partner and best friend. Why couldn't she just let him be and go on with her life? She didn't need him, he was nothing but trouble for her heart anyway. Stupid men. What was wrong with them?

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts and she reluctantly left the sofa. She peaked through the peep-hole and saw a very familiar face. Harm's. What the hell was he doing there?

She unlocked the door and opened it. "What are you doing here?"

"Just hear what I have to say and then you can kick me out, okay?"

"Fine." She stepped aside and let him in. "You have sixty seconds from now."

"That's not a lot of time Mac, how about..."

"Fifty five seconds left." She interrupted.

"I'm sorry about what I said Mac, it was stupid and... It was really stupid. I'm jealous and when I get jealous I get mean, you know that from experience. I miss you and I hope you'll consider forgiving me." He stepped closer to her. "Please."

"Your time is up." Mac smiled. "You did however say one thing I agree on."

Harm looked questioningly at her. "What?"

"You are stupid." She said.

"Mac please, I know what I said hurt..."

She cut him off. "Hurt? You accused me of having a relationship with Webb while I was in bed with you. How do you think that made me feel?"

Harm touched her arm lightly. "I'm sorry Mac, but I have to admit that I'm still wondering what's going on between you and Webb."

Mac slapped his hand away. "Do you really think I would sleep with you if Webb and I had anything more than friendship between us? What kind of person do you think I am?" Mac stepped away from him.

"He seems to think that you want more than friendship." Harm commented.

Mac ran a hand through her head in frustration. "I'm not involved with Webb and I don't want anything other than friendship with him. He was tortured so that I wouldn't be and I want to help him get back on his feet again. Is that so hard to understand?"

"No, it's not. If anything it makes you even more amazing than you already are." Harm stepped close to her again. "I'm sorry about being a jealous jerk. Do you think we can start over? Let me take you out on a date tomorrow night?"

Mac was surprised. "You want to date?"

"Yes, I want to take you to dinner." He touched her cheek. "You deserve a real date."

Mac nodded. "Okay."

Harm smiled. "I'll pick you up at 1900." He leaned in and gave her a short kiss. "See you tomorrow."

Mac watched him leave before she let her body fall on the couch, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. This would be interesting.

Mac's apartment

The next night

Mac was in her bathroom, putting the finishing touch on her make-up, when she heard a knock on her door at precisely 1900. She took one last look in the mirror before she went to answer the door.

"Good evening Mac, these are for you." He handed her red roses before giving her a short, sweet kiss.

"Thank you Harm, I better put them in water." Mac smiled and walked to the kitchen.

The night was a success.

Mac's apartment

The next day

Harm stretched lazily in bed and reached for the person next to him, but the bed was empty and cold. He opened his eyes and looked at his watch, it was passed 0900. He couldn't believe the night they had; a nice dinner where they talked about everything that had happened and where Harm felt that he managed to make her understand how he felt. He had apologised again and Mac had agreed to give him a chance to prove to her that he wanted a future with her.

He got out of bed and found his boxers from the floor, he put them on before leaving the bedroom.

He found Mac sitting on her sofa, coffee in hand and reading a newspaper.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake up." She offered her mug to him.

Harm took the mug from her and tasted it. "It's strong enough to wake up a dead person." He commented before sitting down on the couch.

"It should work on you then." She teased.

He chuckled. "It's been a long week."

"Can you talk about it?" She wondered.

"Not really, it's just a change from what I'm used to. It'll be fine though." He reassured.

"Okay, if you say so." She reached for his hand. "Maybe you should talk to the Admiral about coming back to JAG."

"No way, he made his feelings clear. I'll be fine Mac." Harm stubbornly said.

"Harm..."

He cut her off. "Just let it go Mac. I don't want to argue with you, okay?"

Mac nodded. "Okay."

Harm kissed her cheek. "I want to take a shower." He put the mug on the table and stood. "Do you mind?"

"No, make yourself at home." She watched him walk to her bedroom while wondering how she could persuade him to talk to the Admiral.

Fifteen minutes later he walked out of the bedroom, dressed and talking on his cellphone.

"Yes Sir, I understand. I'll be there." He flipped the phone shut.

"You have to leave?" Mac stood and walked over to where he stood.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to spend the rest of the weekend with you." He pulled her close and kissed her head. "I'll make it up to you."

Mac sighted. "So this is how it will be with you. I'm not sure I like that."

"Just give it a chance, I'm not letting you go." He kissed her head again before releasing her. "I'll try to contact you whenever I can and I'll see you as soon as I'm back in town."

"Okay." Mac hesitated. "Be careful out there Harm."

He smiled and touched her cheek. "Are you worried about me Marine?"

"I'm not there to watch your six if things go wrong." She tried a little humour.

He kissed her deeply. "I'll be fine." He kissed her again. "See you soon."

Mac nodded. "I can't wait."

He kissed her one last time before leaving the apartment. Mac looked around and felt more alone than she had ever felt before.


	4. Chapter 4

Season 9

Chapter 4

Mac was staring at her mobile phone; she hadn't heard from Harm in three weeks and she was starting to worry. He hadn't even called her in that period; Mac knew that in the CIA, the agents sometimes dropped below radar, but Harm wasn't a field agent, he was a pilot; or at least that was what Mac thought he was. Mac had left several messages on his voice mail and on his machine in his apartment, even though she knew that it was a waste of time.

"Excuse me Colonel, do you have a moment?" Lt Bud Roberts stood in her doorway.

"What can I do for you Bud?" Mac focused on her friend.

Bud hesitated and walked into her office. "I was wondering if you'd heard from Commander Rabb, Ma'am?"

"Former Commander Rabb, you mean. No I haven't heard from him in weeks." Mac glanced at her mobile phone. "I've left a million messages though."

"So you're worried too?" Bud wondered.

"I am, but everything is probably fine. I wouldn't worry about it, Bud." She tried to come off as nonchalant, but felt like her attempt failed.

"How about you give Webb a call?" Bud suggested.

"Believe me, if I call Webb the last thing he's going to want to talk about is Harm." It slipped out before Mac could stop herself.

"Really, Ma'am?" Bud questioned.

"This is starting to feel like High School." Mac rubbed a hand over her forehead. "I'm sure Harm will call soon and everything will be fine."

Bud nodded. "I hope so Ma'am, I miss him."

"Me too." Mac whispered and glanced at her mobile phone again.

Later that day there was a knock on Mac's office door. She looked up from the legal book she was reading and saw Clayton Webb in her doorway.

"You called?"

"I meant for you to call back, you didn't need to come here." Mac stood. "But now that you're here, maybe you can do me a favour."

"What?" Webb asked and sat down in one of her visitor's chairs.

Mac looked uncomfortable, but decided to ask. "Can you find out if everything is okay with Harm?"

Webb chuckled. "Rabb? That's what you called for?"

Mac gave him an apologetic smile. "I was going to check up on you as well, but yeah I wanted you to find out why I can't talk to him."

"I'm sure he's fine, probably just busy." Webb stood. "How about dinner tonight?"

"I want to stay home in case Harm calls." Mac sat down again. "Maybe some other time."

"Have dinner with me and I'll check up on Rabb?" Webb suggested.

Mac was surprised. "Dinner for information. Why?"

Webb smiled. "I want to spend time with you Sarah."

"We're just friends Webb, nothing more." Mac warned.

Webb nodded. "Can't a friend take a friend for dinner?"

Mac nodded. "Fine, I'll be ready at 1900."

"I'll see you then." Webb left her office and Mac put her head in her hands. "What a mess." She whispered to the empty room. She knew Webb wanted more than friendship and she knew that Harm knew that Webb wanted more than friendship. Conclusion; Harm's jealousy would reach a whole new dimension if he found out that she went to dinner with Webb. What other option did she have? This way she had a chance to find out if Harm was fine and maybe then she could relax and focus on her work.

Later that night

During their dinner Webb told Mac that Harm was fine and he would be home soon since his mission was over and he only had a debriefing to go through. Mac was relieved and didn't quite manage to focus on Webb during the rest of dinner, her thoughts kept wandering towards Harm and how much she had missed him. Webb must have noticed how preoccupied Mac was because he cut the night short and drove her home. Mac apologised to Webb for not being a very good friend and he said that he understood before he kissed her cheek and got back into his car and drove off. Mac was glad that he didn't follow her upstairs, that way she didn't have to be polite and ask him in for coffee.

When Mac walked to her apartment she noticed someone standing by her door, she recognised the man as Harm right away.

"Harm!" She walked faster.

He lit up when he saw her. "I thought you'd never get home."

Mac opened the door to her apartment and walked inside, Harm followed her. "Where were you dressed like that?"

Mac hesitated. "Webb took me to dinner."

Harm darkened. "Webb?"

"Harm, he's a friend." Mac dropped her purse on the sofa before she removed her shoes. "I was worried about you and I called him to see if he could find out if you were okay."

"And that required him to take you to dinner?" Harm shook his head. "A phone call would do the job just as well."

"What is your problem with Webb anyway?" Mac questioned and wondered if this conversation would lead to a fight.

"I don't have a problem with Webb, I just..." Harm ran a hand through his head in frustration. "I hate that we always end up fighting."

"Then maybe you should consider giving me a hug instead of acting jealous. I don't understand why you don't trust me, I haven't done anything to deserve this jealousy." Mac walked to her bedroom and started removing her dress.

Harm followed her. "I'm sorry, let's start over again."

Mac threw the dress on the bed before walking into the bathroom, only clad in her underwear, to remove her make-up. She quickly washed her face and went back to her bedroom. "I hate it when you act like this." She found a t-shirt and sweatpants and put them on. "I don't even know what you're thinking."

"About?" Harm questioned.

Mac let out a frustrated breath. "About us."

Harm nodded. "I'm thinking that it's distracting when you wear only underwear and that I want to kiss you right now."

Mac shook her head. "There will be no kissing or touching until we have talked."

"Are you serious?" Harm was amused.

Mac nodded. "Absolutely. I wont be your bed-buddy for whenever you are in town, I need more than that."

"You think that you are my bed-buddy?" He stepped closer to her.

Mac looked away. "What would you call it."

"I was thinking we had something more going on." He touched her cheek. "Don't you?"

She met his eyes. "I was hoping."

He smiled. "I know we didn't start off the right way, but I really want this to work Mac. You are my best friend and..."

Mac rolled her eyes. "You can't even say it." She broke away from him.

"Say what?" Harm was confused.

"What do you think?" She threw at him.

"That I want a long term, preferably a life long relationship with you?" He looked away. "Because I do."

Mac stepped close to him and took his hand. "Why is it so hard for you to admit it?"

He looked into her eyes. "I don't know, but I'll work on it."

Mac smiled. "Okay, I'm going to hold you to it then."

Harm leaned in to kiss her, but stopped just before he touched her mouth with his. "Can I show you how much I missed you now?"

She closed the small distance between their mouths and put her hands behind his head and pulled him closer. "God, I've missed you." She said between kisses.

"I've missed you too." Harm moved them to the bed. "So much."

Mac was relaxed and content when she lay in Harms arms after their physical reunion. She loved the way he was holding her and the way he was caressing her softly as they relaxed.

"How long can you stay?" She had dreaded asking the question, but decided that it was better to ask then to wonder.

"I don't know, until they call." He whispered. "I'm sorry that you couldn't reach me. You've left a lot of messages, it was good to hear your voice even if it only was on my voice mail."

"You should give Bud a call. He's been asking about you." Mac lifted her head off his chest and smiled. "I think he misses you."

Harm smiled as well. "I miss him."

"Have you thought about coming back to JAG?" Mac asked carefully.

"Don't start Mac." Harm warned.

Mac sighed. "Sorry. I just... It's not the same without you. I wish I could trade places with you, after all it's my fault you aren't at JAG anymore."

"It was my choice to come after you and I made the right one. I would do it again." He kissed her lightly. "Everything will be fine."

Mac put her head on his chest. "What if it won't be?" She mumbled.

Harm started playing with her hair. "We are together aren't we?"

"Yes."

"So everything will be fine." Harm stated. "Because you and me, baby, we're fine."

Mac chuckled. "Okay then." She just had to believe him.


	5. Chapter 5

Season 9

Chapter 5

Mac entered her apartment and immediately felt that something was wrong, a light that she had turned off before she left for work was now on and she could feel someone's presence in her apartment. She retrieved her gun from its usual hiding place by the door and looked around, no one was in the living room. She heard a sound in her bedroom and took a deep breath before pointing the gun towards the door as someone came walking through it.

"Harm!" Mac lowered her gun.

"Hey Mac, nice to see you." He pointed to the gun with a big smile on his face. "Were you planing on shooting someone?"

Mac ignored him and put her gun back where she found it. "I saw you on TV." She walked closer to him and punched his upper arm.

"Ouch, Mac!" Harm whined and rubbed his arm.

"That's what you get for scaring me like that." She put her arms around his neck and hugged him close.

Harm put his arms around her. "I did what I had to do and it went pretty well I think." He kissed her head. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

Mac didn't say anything, she just held him.

"Mac?" Harm tried to make her release him. "Mac?"

Mac reluctantly let him go. "I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?" Harm caressed her cheek lightly.

"You in the CIA." She stepped away from him. "I'm not sleeping, I'm stressed and I can't eat anything."

"I need to work." Harm pointed out.

"I know, but maybe you would consider getting a safer job, here in town so that I can keep an eye on you." She smiled. "For my sanity."

Harm nodded. "If that's what you want, I'll do it."

"What?" Mac looked at him as though he had grown two heads.

"If that's what you want, I'll do it." He said again.

"What do you want?" Mac questioned, a little taken aback by what he had said.

"I like the job actually, I get to fly a lot and it's not every day I have to put a huge plane down on a small spot in the middle of the ocean. I'm safe most of the time, but if you want me to quit I will." He smiled. "I'm open to it."

Mac shook her head. "I don't want you to quit because I want you to quit, I want you to quit because you want it. I'm not the boss of you."

"Mac, what you think matters. I thought that was how relationships worked, right?" Harm asked.

"It is." She confirmed.

He stepped close to her. "Then what do you want?"

"I want you to be safe; and I want you to come back to JAG so that I don't have to worry...or worry a little less if you will." She smiled sheepishly. "Let's face it, you do get into trouble often."

Harm chuckled and pulled her close, putting his head on top of hers. "I'll be fine Mac, you don't need to worry, and you won't lose me; I promise."

"I hate that I'm acting like this, but I finally feel that my life is somewhere close to how I want it to be. I'm sorry." She buried her head in his neck.

"We'll be fine Mac, I promise you." He kissed her head.

Mac moved her head back and looked at him. "I'm glad you're home." She kissed him deeply and started moving him to her bedroom.

Harm chuckled against her mouth. "I'm glad to be home too."

The next day

At the Mall

"What about this one, it's cute." Harm released Mac's hand and grabbed a bear from the shelf.

"Harm, it's pink." Mac chuckled. "James is a boy."

"Good point." Harm put the bear back.

"You already picked out two bears for him, I think it's enough." Mac took Harm's hand.

"I haven't seen him yet and I want to get him some gifts that's all. I've missed out on a lot lately." Harm tugged Mac's hand to make her stop. "I've been summoned to the boss's office tomorrow, probably another flight."

"You have to go already? That sucks."

"Tell me about it." He kissed her lightly. "Let's just make the most of the time we've got together."

Mac nodded. "Let's pay for those bears and we'll go see Bud and Harriet."

The Robert's house

Harm rang the doorbell at the Roberts house. A little while later the door opened. "Sir?" Bud smiled widely. "Come on in." He stepped aside. "Hi Colonel."

"Hi Bud." Mac smiled at Bud's happy face.

"It's so good to see you Sir, how are you?" Bud shook Harm's hand.

Harm smiled secretively. "Need to know." Then he laughed. "I'm kidding Bud, I'm fine. How's everyone here?"

"We're fine Sir, a little tired, but that's common with a baby in the house." Bud made a move to walk to the kitchen. "Harriet made lunch."

Harm and Mac followed him to the kitchen where Harriet stood behind the counter. "Sir, Ma'am."

"Hi Harriet." Harm kissed her cheek. "You look good." He gave her the present he'd brought. "For the baby."

"Thank you Sir." Harriet took the gift from him. "How are you Sir?"

"First of all it's Harm, and I'm fine." Harm smiled. "It's good to be back in town." Harm reached for Mac's hand and she gave him a sweet smile.

Harriet dropped the gift on the floor. "You are together?" She turned to Bud. "They are together!"

"Are you together?" Bud asked for confirmation, unlike his wife who often jumped to conclusions.

Mac and Harm both nodded. "Yes, we are." Harm said.

"That's so great." Harriet hurried to hug them both. "I'm so happy."

"Congratulations Sir, Ma'am." Bud smiled widely and shook hands with Harm before hugging Mac.

Mac and Harm stayed for lunch and then they spent some time with the kids before they decided to leave. They decided to go to Harm's apartment, since he hadn't been home since he came back to town.

"Home sweet home." Harm said and took a good look around.

Mac came up behind him. "It's dusty."

"I haven't actually spent much time here lately, I've been hanging out at your place when I've been in town." Harm reached for her hand and pulled her close. "I'll clean as soon as I'll get back from the next assignment, but today there's more important things to do."

"Like what?"

"I'm taking my girlfriend out to dinner." He kissed her sweetly. "Fancy restaurant, dancing. What do you think?"

Mac smiled. "I think I should go home and find something nice to wear."

"I'll just find my suit and I'll go with you. Your place is so much cleaner, I think I'll hang out there until I leave." He kissed her again. "And the company is so much better."

Harm's apartment

The next day

Harm was sitting on his couch playing his guitar when he heard a knock on the door. He went to open the door and found Mac on the other side.

"Hello beautiful, what can your handsome unemployed boyfriend do for you today?" Harm stepped aside to let her pass him.

"You got fired?" Mac asked as she walked into the apartment. "But you were just all over the news, a hero really." She stopped and wrinkled her nose. "Oh, that didn't go well with the agency I guess."

"Exactly, can't put me into the field after being all over the news." Harm chuckled. "Any career advice?"

"Actually yes I have." Mac hesitated. "How about..."

Harm cut her off. "I won't talk to the Admiral Mac, forget it. I'll find something else to do."

"But..."

"Mac, just let it go." He stepped closer to her. "Think of it this way, I'll have a lot of free time on my hands, I can spend it with you." He pulled her close." It could be fun."

Mac smiled. "I do like the sound of that." She started nibbling on his neck.

Harm was about to start some nibbling on his own when there was a knock on the door.

"You have a lot of visitor's today Harm." Mac released him.

Harm opened the door and found Catherine Gale on the other side. "Catherine?"

"You got a minute?" She walked passed him and saw Mac. "Colonel Mackenzie."

"Miss Gale." Mac said politely.

"I can come back later." Catherine made a move to leave.

"It's okay, I have a minute." Harm said. "Let me take your coat."

Catherine removed her coat and gave it to Harm.

Harm's eyes widened. "You're pregnant." Then he noticed Mac's look. "No!" He could see what she was thinking.

"I'm leaving." Mac walked passed them and opened the door.

Harm rushed after her. "No, no, no! This is not what you think Mac."

Mac ignored him and closed the elevator door before pushing the button to go down.

"Mac, will you just listen to me?" Harm yelled after her. "Damn it." He rushed back to his apartment.

"Are you involved with her? Is that why she gave me the 'get away from my man look'?" Catherine looked down to her stomach. "Oh, I understand. She thinks this is your baby?"

"I better go after her." Harm gave Catherine her coat back. "We'll have to talk later Catherine."

"I was just coming by to see if you were okay? You go after her." Catherine followed Harm out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Season 9

Chapter 6

Mac's apartment

Mac had barely gotten out of her car by her apartment when Harm drove up to her in his own car. He hurried to park it and got out. "Mac, what you're thinking is wrong."

"What am I thinking?" She asked as she continued to walk inside her building.

"That I slept with her and that it's my baby. I didn't and it's not." He reached for her hand to make her stop. "Mac, the pretend wedding was for her dying mother. The kiss was to make it look real, but I did not sleep with her."

Mac looked into his eyes and saw the truth there. "Then why were you so shocked by her pregnancy?"

"I just didn't expect it, that's all. If she were in a relationship she wouldn't have needed me to marry her would she? I was just surprised Mac, I didn't sleep with her. I swear." Harm touched her cheek. "I would never lie to you."

Mac nodded. "Okay, I believe you. I'm sorry I overreacted."

"That's okay." He kissed her lightly.

They were interrupted by one of Mac's neighbours and Mac led Harm to her apartment and unlocked the door. "I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, it's just that she seemed so in to you and you have a thing for blondes and..."

"I don't have a thing for blondes." Harm argued. "I prefer tall brunettes." He added with a little gleam in his eyes.

Mac had to laugh. "You think that charm can get you out of every difficult situation."

"Is it working?" He pulled her close.

"Sure." Mac kissed him deeply. "But if you as much as look at another woman again I will..."

Harm cut her off with a kiss. "I only have eyes for you."

"You better." Mac warned.

"I think I like this jealous side of you. It's sexy." He started kissing down her neck and tugging on her sweater.

"I'm not jealous." Mac argued as she started pulling on his clothes as well.

"Yes you are." Harm said as her sweater disappeared over her head. "But I like it."

"You better like it." She put her nose close to his. "I love you, Harm."

"Me too." Harm kissed her deeply, before he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed room.

JAG

A few days later

"Good morning Colonel. Have you heard anything from Commander Rabb?" Bud appeared in her doorway.

"Good morning Bud. Harm is currently working as a crop duster."

Bud looked confused. "Crop duster?"

Mac nodded. "He lost his job in the CIA because of the media attention."

"Wow." Bud looked thoughtful. "Have you asked him about coming back to JAG, Ma'am?"

"He won't even talk about it." Mac let out a frustrated breath. "I wish he could clear the air with the Admiral, but they are both too stubborn."

"We'll just have to continue bringing it up Ma'am, one of them will cave eventually." Bud smiled.

"I hope you're right Bud." Mac agreed.

Mac's Apartment

A few days later

Harm looked like he had something on his mind; he had acted nervous and stressed since he came in the door.

"What's up Harm?" Mac looked up from the file she'd been reading.

"I'm coming back to JAG." He said.

Mac jumped up from the sofa. "That's great!"

Harm smiled weakly. "It is. The Admiral came to talk to me and we came to an agreement. I told him about our changed relationship and he told me to keep it out of the office."

Mac was confused. "Why aren't you happy?"

"I am, I can't wait to get back." Harm slumped down on the sofa and ran a hand nervously through his hair.

"Harm?" Mac looked at him, arms crossed over her chest.

Harm got up from the sofa and started wandering around. "I promised a teenage girl I'd file a petition with the court and become her guardian."

"You did what?"

"My boss, Mattie Grace. She doesn't have anyone and she's been running that business on her own. She's fifteen and I think she's a little to young to run a business. I want to help her." Harm took a deep breath. "I want to become her guardian."

Mac was at loss for words. "I.. you...I."

Harm rambled on. "She needs my help and I don't want her to end up in a foster home where no one cares about her. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for a teenager to be placed in foster care, no one wants teenagers so they pretty much get last in line. She's a really great kid and I want to help her."

"You want to become the guardian of a teenage girl?" Mac asked.

Harm nodded. "Yes."

"Have you thought this through?"

Harm nodded again. "Yes."

"Really?" Mac wasn't so sure. "Where will you live? Can even a single guy in the military be a guardian for anyone?"

"I at least want to try Mac and I can buy a house." He argued. "What do you mean a single guy? Last time I checked I was in a relationship."

"But you live alone and we're not married." Mac said.

"Well, maybe we should."

"What?" Mac was shocked.

"Maybe we should get married." He said.

Mac shook her head to clear it. "I need to... "She looked around and saw that she was in her own apartment. "No, you need to leave."

Harm's eyes darkened. "You want me to leave?"

"Yes." Mac went to her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Harm shook his head. "What just went wrong?" He mumbled. He walked to the bedroom door and knocked. "Mac?"

"I need to be alone, just leave." He heard her yell through the door.

Harm put his hand on the door knob, but he decided not to open it. He removed his hand and decided to leave.


	7. Chapter 7

Season 9

Chapter 7

Mac was sitting in her bed surrounded by files; she, along with everyone at JAG, was over her head in Imes cases. Talk about a big work load. On top of that Harm wasn't talking to her, or she wasn't talking to him, it was kinda hard to decide who wasn't talking to whom. Mac was pissed because Harm had asked her to marry him the way he had; like she would get married under those circumstances. If she was getting married it was because of love, nothing else. It wasn't like she didn't love Harm; the opposite actually, she loved him so much she thought she might burst. But there was no way she'd marry him just so that he could help a young girl. He hadn't even said that he loved her yet and then he went by and asked her to marry him.

Mac lay back on her bed and looked at the picture of him that she kept on her bedside table. She grabbed it and hugged it close to her chest. "I wish our relationship was easier." Mac mumbled before she realised that she was talking to herself. "Great, I'll end up alone, talking to myself and surrounded by twelve cats." She whispered to the empty room.

Mattie's house

At the same time

"You are in a bad mood." Mattie commented for the third time since Harm had arrived.

"Yeah." Harm mumbled.

"Have you changed your mind about being my guardian? I understand it if you..."

Harm cut her off. "No, I haven't changed my mind. I just had a fight with Mac. We're not talking."

"Mac's your girlfriend right?" Mattie asked.

"Yeah, or at least she was until I asked her to marry me." Harm mumbled the last part.

"You asked her to marry you and she said no?" Mattie was surprised.

"I might have asked the wrong way." Harm admitted.

"Did she say no because of me?" Mattie wondered.

"No, she said no because of me." Harm stood. "I should probably go see her. Are you okay with money and food for now? I might not be able to come by until late next week, we're in the middle of a busy time at JAG."

"I'll be fine. Harm, are you sure that this is what you want?" Mattie wasn't so sure any more.

"Yes, this is what I want." Harm reassured her. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

Mattie nodded. "Okay."

Mac's apartment

Later that night

Mac was about to call it a night and crawl into bed when there was a knock on her door. She peeked through the peep-hole and saw Harm standing there. She decided to open the door.

"Can I come in?" Harm asked after what seamed like hours of just staring at each other.

Mac stepped aside and let him enter her apartment.

He waited until she had closed the door and turned towards him before speaking. "I miss you."

She didn't say anything.

"I know you're mad at me, but don't you think we should talk?" He stepped closer to her.

She nodded. "Talk."

"I don't really know what to say." He admitted.

She shook her head and let out a cleansing breath. "Then maybe this is a waste of time."

"Don't say that. I want to find out what went wrong." He took her hand.

"You asked me to marry you." She stated.

"I thought that was a good thing?"

"Harm, a marriage should be between two people who love each other." Mac pulled her hand away from his.

He looked hurt. "I thought that we did."

"God Harm, you have never said that you love me."

"Yes I have." He argued.

Mac shook her head in anger. "No, I said that I loved you and you said me too. That's not the same."

He reached for her hand again. "I thought you knew."

"I'm not a mind reader Harm, if you want me to know just say the words." She tugged his hand. "I need to hear the words."

Harm touched her cheek lightly. "I love you Mac."

Mac smiled. "I love you too."

He pulled her close. "I want to marry you."

Mac nodded. "And you will someday, but right now is not the right time. You need to focus on Mattie and I'll help you, but not by marriage. I can't do it like that."

Harm kissed her head. "I know and it was wrong of me to ask you like I did." He released her and looked into her eyes. "Will you come with me to see Mattie the next time I go?"

Mac smiled. "I would love to meet her."

"Does this mean that we're friends again?" He asked.

"Oh, I think we're more than just friends." Mac teased.

Harm pulled her in for a kiss. "We have to stop fighting like this."

"I know." Mac agreed. "How about from now; if we disagree about something we'll listen to what the other has to say before leaving the room?"

Harm nodded. "I think that's an excellent idea." He gave her one more kiss and released her. "As much as I hate to say this, but I have to go. I'm already behind on my work and I have like twice as many files as the rest of you."

Mac nodded. "How about tomorrow you'll give me some of the ones you have and I'll help you."

"You don't have to do that." Harm said.

"I want to." Mac kissed him again. "Now, get out of here so that I can sleep."

"Lucky you, I'll be pulling an all-nighter." Harm gave her one final kiss. "See you tomorrow."

Mattie's House

The next week

Harm led Mac up the stairs and knocked on the front door. Soon the door flew open. "Hi Harm."

"Matilda Grace Johnson meet Sarah Mackenzie." Harm introduced them.

"You can call me Mac." Mac offered her hand.

"And I prefer to be called Mattie." Mattie shook her hand.

Harm led Mac through the door and into the kitchen. "How are you Mattie?"

"I'm fine." Mattie sat down on one of the chairs.

"You have everything you need?" Harm held a chair out for Mac before sitting down as well.

"I can take care of myself Harm, I'm not stupid." Mattie responded.

"Funny, that sounded like something Mac would say. You two will get along fine." Harm stood. "I'm going to go buy us some food, pizza maybe?"

"Sure." Mattie said.

Harm gave Mac a short kiss. "I'll be back soon."

"So, you said no when he asked you to marry him? Why?" Mattie asked as soon as Harm had left.

Mac chuckled. "You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

"It saves time." Mattie responded. "So?"

"It's complicated. Maybe I'll tell you sometime, maybe I won't. But we're okay now." Mac gave the girl a compassionate smile. "I'm sorry about you loosing your mom and your dad."

"I'm sorry about my mom too, but my dad can go to hell." Mattie said.

"Maybe you should consider making some peace with your dad, not for him, but for you." Mac suggested.

"So that you can have Harm for yourself?" Mattie asked.

Mac was amused. "No, I don't mind sharing Harm's attention with you. You look like you need it more than I do. He's a great guy."

"Yeah he is. I haven't met many like him and I still don't understand why he wants to help me." Mattie said.

Mac smiled. "It's just the way he is, always trying to help everyone."

Mattie smiled too. "You really care about him."

"He's my family." Mac said.

"You don't have parents or siblings?" Mattie wondered.

Mac shook her head. "No parent's since I was a teenager and I never had any siblings."

They talked some more and when Harm came back they ate pizza and had a good time. It started to get late and Harm and Mac decided that it was time to leave.

"I'll call you tomorrow." Harm said when Mattie had followed them to the door. "Stay out of trouble."

Mattie rolled her eyes. "I'll do my best."

Mac smiled. "It was really nice to meet you Mattie."

"You too Mac."

"We better get going." Harm reached for Mac's hand. "Bye Mattie."

"Bye." Mattie watched them leave with a small smile on her face.

On the drive back to D.C Harm asked Mac about Mattie. "So what do you think?"

"She seams like a really great kid." Mac reached for Harm's hand. "You're a good guy."

"That's what I keep telling you." Harm teased. "So you think I'm doing the right thing?"

Mac nodded. "I think so."

"What about you and me?" Harm wondered.

"What about us?" Mac was confused.

"What role will you have?" Harm asked.

She hesitated. "I think my role will be as your girlfriend. I don't want to rush into anything, we still have a lot to work on as a couple and I can't jump into a marriage right now. I can't risk screwing this up Harm."

"Do you think we will?"

"I think we have great potential to. I don't want to lose you Harm, but if we don't learn to fight fairly that's going to be what happens."

"I can't loose you either and I won't screw this up. We will make it work." Harm said with confidence.

Mac nodded. "That's what I want."


	8. Chapter 8

Season 9

Chapter 8

Mac looked lovingly across the table. "This is nice."

"I'm glad you think so." Harm chuckled. "It's a nice diner."

"I probably should pay myself though, don't want anyone thinking the defence have bribed the prosecution with dinner." Mac teased.

"That would be totally inappropriate." Harm cleared his throat. "So, speaking of this Posse Comitatus Act..."

Mac shook her head. "No, we will not talk about it. I'm off duty for now."

"Okay, fine." Harm said with a little reluctance.

Mac ignored him. "How's Mattie?"

"She's fine, a little disappointed that I won't be stopping by this week, but I promised to make it up to her." Harm smiled. "I'll probably have to take her flying."

Mac laughed softly. "Just don't forget to check the fuel line."

Harm threw his napkin at her.

Mac laughed harder. "You should probably make her wear a parachute, just in case she has to flee the plane."

Harm leaned back on his chair, crossing his arms across his chest, he gave her a hurt look.

Mac sobered up. "Oh, come on. It's funny."

Harm didn't respond.

"You're a good pilot Harm." Mac complimented.

"It couldn't hurt for you to say it once in a while." He mumbled.

Mac gave him an apologetic smile. "I'll tell you more often from now on."

Harm smiled. "Good, I need the confidence."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Sure you do."

Harm leaned across the table and gave her a flirting smile. "You look pretty today."

"Oh no you don't." Mac gave him a warning glare.

"Come on Mac." He winked his eyes. "You want to hot bunk tonight?"

Mac shook her head. "Sure, that sounds good." She leaned closer to him. "So what will you do after our Court Martial? We'll probably have to do some hard labour, but after that maybe we'll live a life as outlaws."

Harm leaned away from her. "Okay, point taken. I'll behave from now."

Mac nodded. "Good." She stood. "Now, let's get going. I have some work to do."

Harm stood as well and walked out with her.

"Hey Harm, when we're done with this case and back in D.C, we'll hot bunk as much as you want." Mac said in a seductive voice.

Harm looked her up and down. "That sounds good, sweet thing."

Mac laughed. "See you tomorrow in court Harm."

Harm nodded. "May the best person win."

"Count on it." Mac waved her hand before walking away from him.

A few days later

Harm's apartment

Mac lay in bed relaxing and listening to Harm sing in the shower. He had a nice voice. They had been having some quality time together after the Posse Comitatus Case they just worked on; Mac loved the moments they got to spend together as a couple, but the moments were rare since they both had a lot of work to do.

"What's on your mind?" Harm studied her.

Mac focused on him. "How much I love it when we have the time to be a couple."

Harm dropped his towel and put on his boxers. "I do too." He smiled. "Are you getting up today?"

"What's the hurry?" Mac buried deeper under the covers.

Harm reached for the covers and pulled them off of her. "Up."

Mac reluctantly got out of bed. "What's up with you? You never stress to get up in the mornings. I need coffee."

Harm nodded. "I'll get right on it." He heard the shower come on before he walked to the kitchen with a big smile on his face.

An hour later Harm held the car door open for Mac and waited for her to get out before locking the doors.

"What's the big surprise?" Mac looked around the park.

"Patience Mac." Harm gave her a short kiss before reaching for her hand and dragging her along.

"I hate surprises." Mac reluctantly followed him.

Harm led her to a horse and carriage. "Hop aboard Mac."

Mac gave him a curious look. "We're driving in a horse carriage?"

"I told you I'd treat you to a nice breakfast." He helped her aboard and sat down beside her. He nodded for the driver to start moving before he opened a basket. "I have breakfast right here."

Mac smiled. "I didn't know that you were this romantic."

"I'm not" He argued. "And if you tell anyone about this I'll tell everyone that you sleep in those cute cowboy pyjamas."

Mac smiled wider. "You are nothing but a mushy, romantic, sweet, man."

"I'm not!" He whined.

"It's cute." Mac kissed him sweetly. "I love it."

Harm blushed. "Well, I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed him again. "Now, I was promised food."

Harm chuckled. "I brought plenty."

They rode around the park for well over an hour while enjoying breakfast. After helping Mac down from the carriage Harm reached for her hand. "What do you want to do now?"

"I want to walk around for a while." She dragged him with her. "Come on old man."

"I'm not old." Harm stopped and dragged her close. "I thought I proved that last night and this morning."

Mac kissed him deeply. "Oh, you sure did." She rested her forehead against his. "What you did today was really nice, I'm going to expect it all the time now."

Harm smiled. "I'll do my best."

Mac nodded. "You better."

Harm released her. "We better take that walk now. We have to drive out to see Mattie in a little while."

Mac reached for his hand. "Yes, if I remember correctly you promised us a fancy dinner."

Harm chuckled. "I did and I will not disappoint."

"I'm counting on it." Mac said and started walking.

Mattie's house

Later that day

Mac and Mattie were seated in the living room with a game of scrabble while Harm was busy in the kitchen.

Harm came into the living room. "Okay ladies, dinner is served."

"Finally, I'm dying of hunger here." Mac stood.

"If I had a dollar for every time I heard you say that, I'd be a really rich man." Harm teased.

They ate dinner and Harm started questioning Mattie about school.

"It's okay, I guess." Mattie said with a little reluctance.

"You get good grades?" Harm asked.

"Pretty good I guess. Math is pretty gruelling and science, but other than that it's pretty easy stuff." Mattie responded. "Did you get good grades in school?" Mattie asked Harm.

"Of course I did. I was brilliant, just like now." Harm said with confidence.

Mac snorted and rolled her eyes. "The ego, it's amazing."

Mattie laughed a little. "You probably had a million girlfriends and you were probably a jock?"

"I didn't have a million girlfriends, maybe half of that or something." Harm teased.

"I knew it." Mattie turned to Mac. "What about you? You were probably a cheerleader."

Mac was amused. "Why would you say that?"

Mattie gave her a look that said 'you have got to be kidding me'. "Because you're all pretty and stuff."

"I hate to disappoint you, but I wasn't doing much cheering in High School. I was busy drinking and stealing cars, well I didn't steal cars, but my husband did."

"You shouldn't tell her that, maybe she'll think it's a great idea." Harm protested.

"Wait a minute, you were married?" Mattie was curious.

"Yes, a long time ago." Mac said.

"What happened?" Mattie asked.

"I grew up." Mac smiled. "Or something like that."

"So you have a past as an outlaw?" Mattie was intrigued.

Mac laughed. "I wouldn't take it that far, but I do have a rookie past." She sobered up. "Whatever you do, don't follow my example. It's not worth it."

"But you turned out fine." Mattie gave her a sad smile. "It's nice to know that not everyone have a sunshine story."

"You're lucky Harm showed up at your door, he's a real everyday hero." Mac gave Mattie a conspiring smile.

Mattie smiled back. "I think we're both lucky to have him."

Mac nodded. "I agree, we are lucky."

Harm cleared his voice loudly. "I'm still in the room you know."

Mac stood and bent down to give him a sweet kiss. "I know." She started clearing the table.

Mattie just smiled at Harm's bothered facial expression before standing as well. "Thanks for dinner Harm, it was great to eat something home made." She started helping Mac to clear the table.

Harm watched them work and felt like he was the luckiest person in the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Season 9

Chapter 9

Mac caught up with Harm as he walked across the bullpen. She snagged the file he was holding and made him jump slightly. "You should pay better attention, Harm."

"I wasn't expecting to be attacked in the bullpen, but maybe I should be with Marines around." He snagged the file back. "Why are you in such a good mood?"

"It's a nice day." Mac smiled teasingly.

Harm nodded. "You look like you're up to something."

Mac's smile widened. "I might have an idea on how to clear my client."

Harm was amused. "Care to share?"

Mac shook her head. "Nope, I don't want to jinx it. How are you and the Admiral doing?"

"We shook hands after the verdict, I think we'll be fine." Harm smiled sheepishly. "I think he did a good job on the case."

"Trying to be a good loser, Harm?" Mac teased.

Harm nodded. "I think the right verdict was given, sport is sport."

"I better get back into court. My client is on the stand and I think I'll win this one." Mac said with confidence.

Harm smiled. "Break a leg."

"Watch it or I might break yours." Mac winked at him before walking away.

"You two seem to be getting along well Commander." The Admiral stepped up beside Harm.

"Yes Sir, we are." Harm agreed.

"I'm glad. It sure as hell makes my life a lot easier." The Admiral mumbled the last part before walking away.

Harm had to agree, they had been on great terms lately; both at work and out of work. His life was good, but it would be better when he'd be able to get custody of Mattie. He wanted nothing more than to have a family and he was just waiting on the right moment to ask Mac to marry him again.

Mac's apartment

Later

Harm entered Mac's apartment with a pizza box in his hand. "Honey, I'm home."

Mac chuckled and got up from the sofa. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm flattered that you think so." Harm gave her a short kiss.

Mac grabbed the pizza box and smiled teasingly at him. "I was talking to the pizza, I'm hungry."

Harm laughed softly. "That really hurt Mac."

Mac put the pizza on the table and sat down on the sofa. "I'm glad to see you too."

Harm sat down with her. "I'm glad to hear that."

They ate in silence and when they were done Mac dragged Harm down on the couch. "You know what I think?" She said when she had snuggled into his arms.

"No, what?" Harm kissed the tip of her nose.

"That I'm really happy to be here with you." She lifted her head to look at him. "All the fighting and difficulties we had in Paraguay and after Paraguay seem so minor now."

Harm nodded. "It seams silly that we took this long before we got together."

"It really does." Mac agreed. "Let's not screw it up."

"Absolutely not, I'm in this for the long haul. We'll probably still be fighting for the top twenty years from now, but you know what?" Harm looked deep into her eyes.

"What?"

"I can't wait." He laughed softly. "It's going to be great."

Mac laughed as well. "I believe you."

Harm kissed her lightly. "How about I take you out to dinner tomorrow night? It's been a long time since I took you to a fancy restaurant."

Mac smiled against his mouth. "I agree, you don't do that often enough."

Harm kissed her again. "Are you calling me a bad boyfriend?"

Mac chuckled. "Nope, you are pretty amazing at times."

"At times?" Harm questioned.

Mac nodded. "Yes, most of the time you are amazing. Sometimes you are stubborn and impossible, but that's okay. I love you even when we argue."

"I love you too." He kissed her deeply.


	10. Chapter 10

Season 9

Chapter 10

JAG

Harm knocked on Mac's office door and stepped inside.

"What do you want?" Mac didn't even look up from the file she was reading.

"I realise that you might be a little angry and I thought I'd stop by to see if there was anything I could do to change that?" Harm walked further into the office.

She still didn't look at him. "Stop using my alcoholism to get sympathy for your chain smoking client."

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said in court, but you are taking a very hard line on this case. You usually keep personal feelings out of the court room. What's going on?" Harm wondered.

Mac gave him a stern look. "If I got drunk and drove my car over another human being and killed the person, I would be a murderer right?"

Harm nodded. "Yes, I guess."

"It's the same thing Harm. I don't use my alcoholism as an excuse for my mistakes and I will not give any other addicted person a free ticket out of jail just because they can't control the addiction. It's not an excuse, a mistake is a mistake." Mac gave Harm an impatient look. "If there's nothing else I'm busy."

Harm nodded. "Fine, I'll leave." He turned to leave her office.

"And Harm." Mac waited until Harm had turned around again. "That jab in there was below the belt."

Harm gave her an apologetic look. "I know and I'm sorry about that. I guess it's too easy to bring out what we know will hurt each other in order to win a fight."

Mac nodded. "It's easy because we both know each other so well, we know what will throw the other person off."

Harm smiled sheepishly. "We better start fighting fairly."

Mac nodded in agreement. "We better."

Harm walked closer to her and offered his hand. "Truce?"

Mac smiled and shook the outstretched hand. "Truce."

The case was over and Harm was done for the day; he caught up with Mac by the elevator.

He got into the elevator with her. "Want to have dinner?"

"I promised Clay I'd meet him for dinner tonight, he's in town and I just want to see that he's doing as well as he says he is. You don't mind do you?" Mac asked.

"No problem." Harm said with reluctance.

"Harm, don't be like that." Mac touched his arm lightly. "It's just dinner."

"I know and it's okay." He smiled. "Say hello to Webb for me."

Mac nodded. "I will." She got out of the elevator. "Let's meet for a morning jog tomorrow."

Harm followed her outside. "Sure."

Mac opened her car door and threw her briefcase inside. "I'll call you when I get home."

Harm nodded. "Bye."

The next morning they were jogging side by side, cooling down after a long run.

"So you are worried about Webb?"

Mac sighed. "He seems to be doing very well physically, but he's drinking more than usual."

"He's been through a lot."

Mac stopped. "Mostly so that I wouldn't get hurt."

Harm stopped as well. "Mac, it's not your fault."

Mac nodded. "I know that, but it's hard to see him like this."

Harm touched her arm lightly. "He'll be fine Mac, Webb is tough."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Mac agreed.

Harm smiled teasingly. "I often am."

Mac gave his chest a soft punch. "One of these days you'll be wrong and when that happens I'll be there to gloat."

Harm pulled her close. "Want to go home and shower with me?"

Mac laughed softly against his neck. "I would love too."

Harm kissed the top of her head before releasing her. "Let's go."

Robert's house

The next night Mac and Harm were at the Robert's house babysitting while Bud and Harriet went out to dinner. Mac had just put little A.J to bed and read him a story, while Harm changed and fed baby James. Mac came downstairs and heard Harm singing, she stepped around the corner and found him sitting on the sofa with the baby in his arms. Mac smiled at the sight in front of her and went to sit with them.

Harm smiled when he saw her. "He's finally asleep."

Mac touched the little boy's hand. "He's such a sweetheart."

"He really is." Harm agreed.

"You are really good with him." Mac complimented.

"Thank you." Harm stood. "I better put him down.

A few minutes later Harm joined Mac on the couch again. "Finally alone." He grabbed her hand and dragged her on top of him.

Mac laughed. "Behave, we're still babysitting."

"Doesn't mean that I can't do this." He started kissing her neck.

"Maybe you should wait with that until we're home and in bed, it's much more fun then." Mac suggested.

"You're right, it is more fun in bed." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

Mac lifted her head to look at him. "I want one of those."

Harm knew that she was referring to the baby. "We better get busy soon, we have a baby deal to fulfil."

Mac put her forehead close to his. "Maybe now is not a good time, with Mattie and all."

"Let's get that out of the way first and then we'll see." He kissed her lightly. "But I want a family Mac and I want it with you."

"There was a time when I thought I'd never hear you say that." She admitted.

"Things change." He kissed her again. "I love you."

She smiled sweetly. "I love you too."

They heard the front door open and jumped up from the sofa. "Better not get caught making out on the sofa by two junior officers." Harm straightened his shirt.

Mac laughed softly. "How about we go to my place and continue this."

Harm didn't have time to respond as Bud and Harriet came into view. "Hey guys."

"Did everything go okay with the kids?" Harriet asked.

"Everything went just fine, they are both asleep." Mac reassured Harriet.

Harriet smiled. "Thank you so much for this."

"Any time Harriet, we love spending time with them." Harm reached for Mac's hand. "We better get going."

They said their goodbyes and drove to Mac's place.

An hour later they were in bed after a heated round of love making. "You know Harm, even if we don't make a baby right away, we can have a great time practising." Mac said against his mouth.

"Absolutely." Harm agreed. "This really is fun."

Mac flipped them over. "And you know what, it's kind of fun to fight for the top too."

Harm laughed. "Yeah, really fun."


	11. Chapter 11

Season 9

Chapter 11

Harm stretched lazily in bed and reached for the person next to him and pulled her close. "Good morning."

Mac snuggled close to him. "Good morning and Merry Christmas." She gave him a short, sweet kiss.

Harm sniffed the air. "What's that smell? Pancakes?"

Mac nodded and got out of bed. "I think Mattie made us breakfast."

Harm looked her up and down. "Have I told you how cute those pyjamas are?"

Mac rolled her eyes. "A million times. Now let's get up."

Harm got out of bed and put on sweatpants and a t-shirt. "I'm up." He walked over and put his arms around her. "As soon as I find a bigger place and Mattie gets her own room you get to stay over without pyjamas."

Mac laughed softly. "I can't wait."

Harm gave her a sweet kiss before taking her hand and leading her down the steps from the bedroom.

When they got down they found Mattie busy in the kitchen. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas Mattie. What are you making?" Mac looked around the kitchen.

"You two go sit down and I'll bring you breakfast." Mattie ordered.

Mac and Harm did as they were told.

"I made pancakes and an omelette." Mattie put the food down.

"Wow, this looks great." Mac smiled widely.

"But not very healthy." Harm commented.

Mac rolled her eyes. "But it's good."

Mattie nodded. "I think so too. And it's a thank you for talking to my dad and fixing everything so that I can stay with Harm and not go to a foster home."

"It was my pleasure Mattie." Mac smiled. "I was glad to help."

"We owe you more than a thank you Mac." Harm said.

"Consider it a Christmas gift." Mac reached for a pancake. "And this breakfast is better than a thank you."

"Okay, let's eat and then we'll open gifts." Harm held the plate with pancakes towards Mattie.

They ate breakfast and opened gifts before they went to Mac's apartment to watch Christmas movies. Mattie told Harm that he had to buy a TV and a DVD player.

"Who doesn't own a TV, are you Amish?" Mattie teased.

"I have a TV." Harm argued.

"That tiny little box Webb brought you so that you could see the Angel Shark video is not a TV." Mac argued. "That's a TV." She pointed to her own.

"Fine, I'll buy a TV." Harm reluctantly agreed.

"Am I sleeping on your couch for ever?" Mattie wondered.

"No, we'll have to look for a bigger place." Harm said.

"What about the apartment next to yours?" Mattie asked.

"What about it?" Harm gave her a questioning look.

"I can live there." Mattie suggested.

Harm shook his head. "You can't have your own apartment."

"Why not? I've lived alone for ever and I have been running my own business." Mattie argued.

"You are not living on your own." Harm said.

"Oh, come on." Mattie argued.

"No." Harm said.

"But..."

Harm cut her off. "No."

Mac laughed. "Looks like you've got your work cut out for you daddy."

Harm gave her a warning glare. "Stop it."

"I think it's cute." Mac teased.

"Let's just see another movie." Harm mumbled. He felt a little ganged up on, but decided that he actually liked it.

The rest of Christmas went by fast and soon it was New Years Eve. They spent the night at Bud and Harriet's place with the rest of the people from JAG.

Harm had stepped outside with the Admiral to have a cigar, it was the only day in the year when Harm smoked.

"Congratulations on getting custody of Mattie." The Admiral said.

Harm smiled. "Thank you Sir. It wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Mac, she managed to talk Mattie's dad into stepping aside so that Mattie wouldn't have to go to a foster home."

"That was a nice thing to do." The Admiral studied Harm. "You were right to go to Paraguay."

Harm nodded. "I know, it was the smartest thing I have ever done."

"How are you and Mac doing?" The Admiral wondered.

"I think we're headed in the right direction." Harm smiled.

"I always knew the day would come, but I have to admit that I'm dreading losing either one of you." The Admiral admitted. "Have you picked out a ring yet?"

"Actually I did that before Paraguay, but I haven't found the right moment to give it to her. I'm not sure if I'm ready for one of us to leave JAG, it's going to be a change." Harm shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I can't have it both ways."

The Admiral chuckled. "I guess not."

"Anyway, right now I have to focus on finding a bigger place to live. Can't have Mattie sleeping on the couch for ever." Harm turned when he heard the front door open.

"Smoke kills." Mac teased.

"Not when you smoke once a year." Harm threw the rest of his cigar into the snow. "And if I remember correctly you smoked when we had to hide out in the woods after the emergency landing years back."

Mac laughed softly. "I had a bullet in my thigh and I didn't really think that we would get out of there alive."

The Admiral shook his head. "You two always end up in trouble." He opened the door. "See you inside."

Harm waited until the Admiral had closed the door behind him before pulling Mac close. "It's almost midnight."

"I know." She buried her head in his neck. "It's cold out here."

Harm opened his jacket and wrapped it around her as well. "I'll keep you warm."

"I'm counting on it." Mac smiled against his neck.

"Do you have any New Years resolutions?" Harm whispered in her ear.

"No." She kissed him. "You know, some people say that what you do at midnight new years eve is what you'll be doing all year."

"What will you be doing at midnight?" Harm teased.

"The same thing as you; kissing." Mac smiled against his mouth.

Harm kissed her deeply and while everyone inside yelled Happy New Year, the couple on the porch continued to kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

Season 9

Chapter 12

Mac looked around Mattie and Jen's apartment. "The place looks nice."

"Thank you Ma'am. I can't begin to describe how great it is to have moved out of the last place I lived in." Jen said with relief in her voice.

Mac chuckled. "I bet the Admiral will be glad to see that your clothes aren't at JAG anymore."

Jen nodded. "Probably Ma'am."

"More popcorn, Mac?" Mattie offered her the bowl.

"Don't let Harm see you eat stuff like this all the time, he'll freak out and start talking about different heart diseases." Mac took a big handful of popcorn.

"He's a real health freak, isn't he?" Mattie asked.

"Absolutely." Mac looked up and saw Harm enter the apartment with three pizza boxes.

Mattie jumped to her feet. "Pizza's here."

"Don't think you'll be eating this junk all the time, I'm making you healthy food from now on." Harm warned.

Mac laughed. "I told you so."

Harm put down the boxes. "That goes for you too Mackenzie."

"I have to eat vegetables?" Mac wrinkled her nose. She loved teasing Harm about food.

Harm sat down beside her. "Absolutely."

Mac gave Harm a disgusted look and Harm had to laugh. "It's good for you."

After eating the pizza Harm told Mattie not to stay up too late since it was a school night and he and Mac left the girl's apartment.

Harm had been worried about Mac since they left JAG, she had looked like she had a lot on her mind since Agent Van Dyne went under ground. "Are you okay with Van Dyne going under ground?"

Mac shrugged her shoulders. "It's the CIA right?"

Harm touched her arm lightly. "Yeah, it is. Will you be alright?"

Mac nodded. "I just have this bad feeling, but I guess it'll pass eventually."

Harm pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sure it will."

He put some stray hairs behind her ear and looked into her eyes. "Are you staying over?"

"It's a school night." Mac gave him a sweet kiss. "See you tomorrow, I love you."

"I love you too." Harm kissed her. "How about we go skiing this weekend? Mattie can get her own room and you and I can hot bunk."

Mac chuckled. "I think I'd like that."

"Good, I'll see what Mattie thinks before I make reservations." Harm kissed her again. "Drive carefully and I'll see you tomorrow."

The next day

Harm's apartment

Harm and Mattie sat by the kitchen table in Harm's apartment, Harm was looking over some of Mattie's homework.

"It looks great Mattie." Harm gave her back the notebook.

Mattie put her books away. "I haven't really had anyone look over my homework since my mother died. It's nice."

Harm stood when he heard the clock on the oven ring. "I'm glad to do it." He walked over to the oven and opened the door. "The lasagne is ready."

"It smells great." Mattie smiled widely and stood. "I'll set the table."

Harm put the lasagne down on the table. "About this weekend. How would you feel about going skiing?"

Mattie put the plates down. "Really?"

"Yeah, I was thinking that it could be fun." Harm walked over to the kitchen again and found the bowl of salad.

"Will Mac come?" Mattie wondered.

Harm put the bowl of salad down on the table. "Do you mind?"

"No, I like Mac." Mattie sat down. "Why hasn't she been staying over since Christmas?"

Harm sat down as well. "I'm trying to concentrate on you right now."

Mattie started loading her plate with food. "It's okay if you want to have her over, you're adults. I'm not expecting you to live in celibacy just because I'm here."

"I'm just trying to be a good role model." Harm filled their glasses with water.

"But you love Mac and you want to marry her, it's not like you're sleeping around." Mattie said matter of factly.

"Mattie!" Harm was shocked.

"What? I'm old enough to know about sex." Mattie said matter of factly.

Harm blushed.

"You're a prude." Mattie was amused. "Look I'm not a stupid kid, I know how baby's are made."

"I don't think you're a stupid kid, but you're not old enough to think about sex."

Mattie laughed. "You are such a prude." She repeated.

"I'm not." Harm argued.

"You totally are." Mattie laughed harder. "I bet you and Mac will have separate bedrooms when we go skiing."

"No, we will not. I love Mac and sharing a bed is okay when two people are in love." Harm blushed a little. "You however will not share a bed with any boys for a long time."

Mattie tried to look serious. "Okay dad." Then she laughed again. "Prude."

Harm ignored her. "Eat your food." Life as a teenage father wasn't going to be easy.

Friday night

Sunspring hotel

Harm dropped their bags on the bed and looked around. "Nice." He dropped down on the bed. "Really nice." He gave Mac a sexy look.

Mac chuckled. "We're meeting Mattie for dinner in ten minutes so you better behave."

Harm stretched out on the bed. "I can get a lot done in ten minutes."

Mac rolled her eyes. "I require more than that."

Harm got to his feet. "And you deserve more." He pulled her close. "I've missed you lately."

"I've missed you too." She rested her hands on his shoulders.

Harm kissed her lightly. "Maybe you should stay over at my place more often. Actually Mattie asked me why you didn't stay over."

Mac laughed softly. "You've only had her for a few weeks and already had the sex talk, not bad daddy. Was it fun?" Mac teased

Harm blushed. "I think I learned a lot."

Mac laughed harder. "Come on daddy, let's get some dinner." Mac grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the door. "Prude."

"I'm not." Harm argued. "Why does everyone call me that?" He followed Mac out the door, still blushing slightly.

Saturday

The ski resort

Harm saw Mattie skiing down the steep hill, she made it look so easy. Harm looked down at his own skis and shrugged, he had already fallen three times and he was annoyed as hell.

Mac was on her way down the hill but stopped when she saw Harm. "Why are you standing here?"

"I'm not really good at this." Harm admitted.

"I saw you fall." Mac was worried. "Everything okay?"

"I'm fine, but my pride is pretty bruised." Harm admitted.

"You just have to loosen up in your hip." Mac pointed to Mattie. "Look at Mattie."

"She makes it look easy. You both do." Harm looked down on his skis again. "Maybe I need a trainer."

"I'll train you." Mac kissed his cheek. "We'll take it slow." She started going down hill. Harm watched how she used her hip and he followed her, trying to follow her moves.

"You are doing great." Mac said when he came down the hill without falling.

Harm stopped right in front of her with a big smile on his face. "I didn't fall."

"Your hip movements are much better." Mac leaned forward and gave him a sweet kiss.

Harm deepened the kiss. "I had a good teacher."

Mac rubbed her nose against his. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her again, pulling her close.


	13. Chapter 13

Season 9

Chapter 13

Mac's heart was pounding in her chest, she was running fast. It was great to feel like she was using her body, really giving all her powers to her work-out. She decided to slow down.

Fifteen minutes later she walked towards her car, feeling better than when she woke up that morning. The case with the Petty Officer who had gotten drunk and been accused of killing a Ensign had hit closer to home than she wanted to admit. Her mind had been on the case all night, making it very difficult to sleep. It bothered her how thin the line between a recovering alcoholic and an actual alcoholic was. Petty Officer Cupiano had crossed that line and Mac could only hope that he would be able to stay sober from now on.

Mac opened her car door and got inside. She decided that it was time for her to go to an AA meeting, it had been well over a year since she last went to one.

Later that day

Harm's apartment

Mac walked into Harm's apartment and found him, Jen and Mattie cleaning up after dinner.

"Hi Mac, you missed out on pasta night." Mattie said.

"That's okay, I already ate." Mac hung up her coat and walked to the kitchen with a paper bag in her arms. "But I brought dessert." She held up a carton of chocolate ice cream.

"Awesome." Mattie and Jen both said at the same time.

Harm gave Mac a short kiss. "Are you trying to make me fat?"

"You don't have to eat it." Mac opened the box.

Mattie and Jen filled their bowls with ice cream and then they excused themselves to watch TV. Mac found two spoons and gave one of them to Harm before she started eating ice cream right out of the carton.

"You are so bad for my eating habits." Harm started eating ice cream as well.

Mac chuckled. "You've got to live a little."

"Yeah, I guess." He swallowed another mouthful of ice cream. "Where were you tonight?"

"At an AA meeting. I hadn't been in a while and I figured it was time."

"This case really got to you?" Harm gave Mac a look of concern.

"I guess. But I'm fine now." Mac put her spoon down and put her arms around Harms neck.

Harm dropped his spoon and hugged her close. "We can talk about it if you want to."

"No, talking is overrated." Mac kissed his cheek. "I just want to enjoy the evening with you."

Harm smiled. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I love being on opposite sides in the courtroom, it sharpens me and makes me a better lawyer. But I hate that I have to act all professional and have no sleepovers when we do." He kissed her.

"I know." Mac whispered against his mouth.

Harm deepened the kiss and pulled her even closer.

Thirty minutes later Mac stretched in bed and rearranged herself in Harm's arms. "What are our plans this weekend?"

"I have no idea. I'm in on whatever you want to do." Harm pulled her closer. "And we should probably ask Mattie what she wants to do."

"Probably, but how would you feel about climbing?"

"Like climbing a wall?" Harm asked.

"Yes. I used to climb with Uncle Matt, but I haven't done it in a while and I thought it could be fun."

"I used to climb a little in High School, it was pretty fun. I'll see what Mattie thinks and we'll go." Harm kissed Mac's head. "I didn't know that about you."

"I'm sure you have some things that I don't know about you."

"Probably." Harm mumbled.

"Tell me something I don't know." Mac demanded.

"There's nothing to know." Harm tried to look innocent.

Mac laughed. "Come on."

"What? I've got nothing to hide." Harm pulled Mac closer. "What do you want to know?"

"Who were you in High School?"

"Well, let's see. I played football and basketball, but I liked basketball the most. I played my guitar, dated some..."

"Some?" Mac interrupted.

Harm laughed softly. "I don't know why everyone assumes that I was such a ladies man in High School. I had in all three different girlfriends during my High School years. I went on a few dates which never led to anything, but mostly I was single. I got good grades and I worked out a lot, preparing for the Naval Academy."

"Was that your only option?"

"It wasn't my only option, my mom wanted me to go to a great college and become a Doctor or something. I told her that it would never happen, because I wanted to fly like my dad." Harm rearranged himself in bed. "Nothing was more important to me than finding my dad."

"That's why you went to Vietnam? You really thought you could find him there?"

Harm nodded. "I really did."

Mac lay resting on her side facing Harm. "I'm glad you found him eventually."

"We found him." Harm corrected her. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Mac smiled. "I was glad to help."

Harm touched her face lightly. "Do you have anymore questions about me or can we go to sleep now?"

"I'm done for now." Mac snuggled back into his arms. "Good night."

Harm kissed her head. "Good night."

Walter's Climbing Wall's

Saturday

Mac watched as Jen and Mattie received instructions on how to fasten the climbing equipment from the instructor. She and Harm had already been climbing for well over an hour, it had been fun to do something new together.

"Here's your water, my dear." Harm offered Mac a bottle.

Mac took it from him. "Thank you."

Harm sat down beside her. "How are the girls' doing?"

"They'll be going up soon. They're just going through the equipment at the moment." Mac took a swig of the water and turned to Harm. "This was fun."

"It really was." Harm agreed. "We should definitely do it again soon."

Mac nodded. "I wish I could go back to Red Rock and climb up the mountain there."

"We can do that." Harm suggested.

"Have you ever climbed a mountain?"

"No, but I could learn." Harm gave her a suggestive smile. "I could just pay close attention to your moves."

Mac laughed. "You would like that, huh?"

"I really would." He looked her up and down before he kissed her deeply.

They broke apart when Mattie yelled. "Stop making out like teenagers and watch me climb."

Harm noticed everyone inside the hall look in their direction and he blushed. Mac laughed. "Are you blushing?"

"No." Harm whined. "Let's just watch Mattie climb, okay?"

Mac kissed his cheek. "You are blushing."

Harm ignored her and focused on Mattie.


	14. Chapter 14

Season 9

Chapter 14

Mac's apartment

After her fight with Sadique Fahd

Mac entered her apartment, she took off her coat and felt a slight sting in her left shoulder. It was probably bruised by now. She dropped the coat on the floor and walked over to her answering machine. It was blinking. She pushed the button. There was three messages waiting on her:

"Hi Mac. Everything okay? I tried your cellphone, but didn't come through. I'm worried. I love you. Call me."

"Hi Mac. It's me again. What's going on? I'm starting to freak out. I love you and call me as soon as you can."

"Where are you Mac? I'm going insane here. If I haven't heard from you in thirty minutes I'm coming over. I love you."

Mac turned away from the machine and walked to her bedroom, she slowly removed her clothes before looking in the mirror. The left shoulder had a big blue bruise and the right side of her upper lip was twice its normal size. She turned away from the mirror and walked into her bathroom.

Five minutes into the shower she heard her name being called. She finished the shower quickly and turned the water off before wrapping herself in a towel.

"Mac! Are you in here?" Harm bursed into her bedroom. "Mac? I was scared to death."

"I'm fine Harm."

"Your lip." Harm cupped her face. "Your shoulder." He looked panicked. "Did Sadique do this?"

Mac stepped away from him. "I'm fine Harm. He's dead."

"What happened?" Harm questioned.

"It doesn't matter." Mac dried herself off before putting on a pyjama. "How's your hearing?"

"It's okay, I can hear just fine now. I'm a little dizzy now and then and there's some ringing in my ears, but that's normal according to my Doctor." Harm watched as Mac sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees. "Are you really okay?"

"I'm fine Harm." Mac responded quickly.

"If you want to talk, I'm here." He sat down beside her.

"I just want to forget about it." She continued to stare right in front of her.

"Mac..."

"You should leave." She stood quickly. "I have an early debriefing tomorrow morning."

"I can stay if you..."

"No, I want some time alone." Mac picked up the clothes she had been wearing earlier that night and threw them into the garbage bin.

Harm stood as well. "Call me if you need me."

Mac nodded. "I will." But as she said it she knew she wouldn't call him.

Harm walked out of her room and into the living room.

Mac followed him. "I'll see you at JAG tomorrow."

"Maybe you should take some time off." Harm suggested.

"I'm fine Harm, I'll see you at JAG." Mac opened the front door.

Harm stepped out into the hallway. "I'll see you tomorrow.

Mac closed the door and leaned against it, she felt tears in her eyes, she slid down and sat on the floor. She buried her head in her knees and cried.

The next day

JAG Headquarters

Mac was in her office staring out the window. The Admiral hadn't been to pleased when she refused to take time off, but she didn't care. There was no way she could sit at home without anything to do. She needed to keep herself busy, she was feeling to restless to sit still. Every time she closed her eyes she could see his face, smell him and hear his voice. Week, barren, whore. Three words forever marked into her mind.

"Hi Mac, everything okay?" Harm studied her. He knew her shoulder had to hurt and her lip didn't look good either.

"I'm fine." She grabbed a file from her desk. "Just working on the case we just got. My client will be here soon."

"You rushed out of the Admiral's office so fast, are you sure you're up to this?" Harm was worried about her behaviour. It was like she was fighting everyone she talked to.

"I'm fine Harm. God, will you just stop nagging." Mac snapped.

"I'm worried about you." Harm tried to stay calm.

"Well don't waste your energy on me, I'm fine." Mac gave him an impatient glare.

"I'm here if you need me." Harm turned and left her office.

Mac let out a releaved breath. She was so sick of people treating her as if something was wrong, why couldn't everybody just leave her alone and let her do her job?

Mac's apartment

Later that day

Mac opened her door and found Clayton Webb outside. "Webb?"

"I came to check up on you." He stepped inside.

"I'm fine." Mac watched Webb sit down on her sofa and bring out a bottle of scotch.

"Do you have a glass?" Webb opened the bottle.

Mac went to the kitchen and brought a glass with her back to the living room. She gave it to Webb before sitting down in the chair opposite him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here when Sadique showed up." Webb filled his glass.

"No problem." Mac responded.

Clay finished the glass and filled another one. "I don't like that you had to take care of it by yourself. You're a very brave woman, Sarah."

Mac rolled her eyes. "Funny, that's what Sadique said."

"He wanted to weaken you and make you feel like you needed him. It's part of his act." Clay finished the scotch and refilled his glass again.

"What? So now I fell for his act? You know what Clay, why don't you and your agency go to hell." Mac stood. "It can't be easy for you to stand by and watch while the pretty little woman do the man's job."

"I don't like that I didn't finish the job." Clay admitted.

"He would have killed you Clay." Mac pointed to his glass. "He had the upper hand on you from Paraguay, look at you; travelling with a bottle. Should you even be in the field?"

Clay stood and pointed the bottle at her. "I always have a clear head when I'm working and I always finish the job."

"Not this time Clay, I had to do it for you." Mac crossed her arms over her chest. "Looks like Sadique was right; I'm stronger than most men."

"Yeah, you are." Clay went for the door. "But don't let that strength ruin for you. Be strong enough to ask for help when you need it."

"You think I need a shrink?" Mac opened the door for him.

Clay nodded. "I see the signs Sarah."

"Did you talk to someone? After Paraguay?" Mac questioned.

"It's company policy." Clay stepped into the hallway. "Get some help Sarah." Then he turned and walked down the hallway.

Mac closed the door and leaned her back towards it; she saw the glass of scotch on the table and felt the familiar need to drink.

She walked over to the table, lifted the glass up and smelled the content. She heard Sadique's voice in her head; week, barren, whore. She threw the glass towards the door and saw it break into a million pieces. There was no way Sadique would hold any power over her


	15. Chapter 15

Season 9

Chapter 15

Harm's apartment

Harm opened the door and came face to face with Mac. "Hi Mac."

Mac walked past him. "Hi." She turned and pushed him up against the door he had just closed. "Hi." She said again before kissing him deeply.

Harm kissed her back before he tried to push her away. "Mac?" He turned his head so that she couldn't reach his mouth. "Let's talk."

Mac let him go. "Talk?"

Harm nodded. "Yes, let's talk. You need help."

"Help?" Mac spat out. "Let me guess, you talked to the Admiral?"

"We are both very worried about you Mac. It's not like you to act like this and after all you've been through lately I can understand it, but we need to deal with it." Harm reached for her hand and spoke softly. "Let me help you."

Mac chuckled and pulled her hand away. "It wasn't like I needed your help last week when I took out Sadik Fahd, why would I need you now?"

"Mac..."

"No Harm, I'll be fine on my own. I don't need you or anyone else." She walked past him. "I'm going home."

Harm stepped between her and the door. "I don't think that's a good idea Mac. Talk to me first."

She looked down on the floor. "No."

"Please Mac, talk to me." Harm whispered.

She shook her head. "No, I can't."

"What happened to our deal about not leaving the room until we've come to a solution?" Harm stepped closer to her. "I want to help. You have been through hell lately and you need time to deal with it. You need to deal with it Mac, don't you understand that?"

"I killed him Harm." Mac whispered, her head still bowed, looking down at the floor.

Harm finally felt that he was getting through to her. "I know you did, but it was you or him."

Mac shook her head. "No."

"What do you mean?" Harm was confused.

Mac sniffed and looked at him. "He was already down and he couldn't fire at me."

"You don't know that, you can never know for sure." Harm argued.

"I knew what I was doing, he was shot in the shoulder and he couldn't fire back. I looked at him and I told him that the shoulder shot was for you and then I told him that this is for Clayton Webb before I put a bullet in his brain. He could have had really important information and I killed him because of what he did, because of what he was." Mac felt the strength leave her body and she sat down on the floor. "I was angry about what he did to Webb in Paraguay and I pulled the trigger."

Harm joined her on the floor. "He was an evil man Mac, he tried to kill us in Paraguay. He tortured Webb and he made you listen to it and he was about to torture you as well. Then he tried to hurt me with the battery to get me out of the way so that he could get you alone. You were angry Mac and you fought him." Harm touched her cheek lightly. "You fought him and it ended with him dying and you walking out of there alive. You did nothing wrong."

Mac stubbornly pushed a tear away from her face. "Why do I feel like I did?"

"Because you are better than him, you have a conscience. It doesn't matter who we kill, we still feel bad about it because we have a conscience. That's what separates us from them." Harm reached for her hand. "I'm proud of you Mac, you cleaned up someone else's mess and I think you should have a medal."

Mac sniffled. "They don't give out medals in the CIA."

Harm chuckled. "I know." He pulled her close and rested his head on top of hers. "We'll be fine, we just need a little time."

Mac nodded against his chest. "I'm sorry about the way I've been acting, I guess I was so prepared to fight Sadik that now when he's not here anymore it's hard to let that go."

"That's okay, I understand. You just need some time to deal with this." He kissed her head. "We'll be fine together."

Mac lifted her head to look at him. "The Admiral ordered me to see a shrink."

Harm nodded. "And you hate that, but you'll go because you have to."

Mac chuckled. "I hate that you know me so well."

Harm smiled. "I love you."

Mac looked away. "I'm sorry for what I said to you about your brother and Mattie. I didn't mean any of it."

"It's okay Mac." Harm forced her to look at him. "It's okay."

Mac shook her head. "It's not okay."

"I love you." Harm kissed her sweetly. "Come on, let's stand. I'm way to old to be sitting on the floor." He stood and reached for her hand.

With Harm's help Mac stood as well. "I love you too." She pulled him close. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never find out." He kissed her again. "Let's get some sleep, I'm guessing you haven't slept much over the last few days?."

"Sleep sounds good." Mac agreed.

A week later

Harm's apartment

Mac entered Harm's apartment and found him and Mattie at the kitchen table having dinner. They looked like they were discussing something amusing, but looked up when she entered.

"Hi Mac." Mattie said with enthusiasm.

Harm stood and walked to meet her. "Hi." He gave her a short, but sweet kiss. "You're late. Is everything okay?" Harm asked a little worried.

"Sure, everything is great." Mac reassured him. "What's for dinner?" Mac walked over to the table.

"Pizza." Mattie stood. "I'm done and I have some homework to do. See you guys tomorrow."

"I'll pick you up from school tomorrow and we'll go shopping." Mac said as she sat down.

"Really?" Mattie lit up. "Cool."

Mac nodded. "I need new shoes."

Harm snorted. "Right, because you don't have enough of those."

"I really don't." Mac chuckled. "Don't worry, you don't have to come."

Harm gave her a look of relief. "Good."

"I don't know Mac, maybe we need someone to carry all our stuff." Mattie gave Harm a teasing smile. "We could use him."

Mac nodded. "Good point."

"Why do I feel like you two are ganging up on me?" Harm gave them a suspicious look.

Mac laughed. "Don't worry, we'll be fine on our own."

Mattie gave Harm a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Mac." Then she disappeared out the door.

Harm sat down on the chair beside Mac. "How was your day?"

"Good." Mac reached for a pizza slice.

He hesitated. "How did your meeting go?"

Mac gave him an impatient glare. "Fine. I'm done."

"After two visits?" Harm questioned.

"Yes." Mac rolled her eyes. "I'm not crazy Harm, I don't need a shrink."

"It doesn't have anything to do with being crazy or not." He touched her cheek. "I just want you to be fine."

"I am fine." Mac smiled. "Don't worry."

"I do worry." He kissed her cheek before standing. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Just water." Mac watched him walk to the kitchen. "You don't think I'm fine?"

Harm turned to look at her. "I didn't say that."

"Harm." Mac warned.

"I don't want to fight with you." He filled a glass with water and came to join her again.

"I'm not fighting." Mac argued.

Harm chuckled. "Not yet."

Mac finished her pizza slice before she reached for his hand and dragged him closer. "Let's just be friends, I don't want to fight with you."

"Okay." Harm agreed. "Want to stay here tonight?"

Mac nodded. "I do."

"Good." He put his nose close to hers and gave her an Eskimo kiss. "I've missed you lately."

"We've been busy." Mac smiled. "I've missed you too."

"Do you know what can make me not miss you?" He asked.

"What?"

Harm gave her a short kiss. "If you move in with me."

Mac leaned back. "If I do what?"

"If we live together I'd get to see you all the time." He tried to pull her close again.

Mac pulled more away from him. "I can't live here, there's no room for me."

"Then maybe we shouldn't live here, maybe we should live in a house."

"A house?"

"Yes."

"You want to buy a house?

Harm nodded.

"With me?"

He nodded again.

"For us to live in?

"Yes."

"Together?"

"Yes I do. It makes sense; I like you, you like me and we miss each other when we're apart." He successfully pulled her closer. "Let's do it."

Mac nodded. "Okay, let's think about it."

Harm was confused. "Think about it?"

"You can start looking for a house if you want and we'll take it from there." Mac smiled. "I'm willing to consider it."

Harm kissed her deeply. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	16. Chapter 16

Season 9

Chapter 16

Harm entered the courtroom and found Mac sitting on the floor surrounded by Bud and the Judge Harm had been on his way to his office when Coates told him what had happened and he had rushed to the court room.

"Mac, are you okay?" Harm hurried over to her and crouched down by her side.

"I'm fine, I just feel stupid." Mac reassured him.

"The paramedics are on their way. She was out for a minute and she should be checked out by a Doctor. That punch was hard enough to cause a concussion." The Judge told Harm. "I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I'll leave you in charge Commander Rabb."

"Yes, Sir. I'll make sure the Colonel gets to the hospital." Harm assured the Judge.

The Judge nodded. "Let me know when she's checked out." Then he left them.

"I don't need a Doctor, I'm fine." Mac argued and tried to rise, but she sat back down because she was dizzy.

"Will you stay down." Harm turned to Bud. "Tell the Admiral that I went to the hospital with Mac."

"Yes, Sir." Bud turned and walked out of the court room.

"I refuse to go in an ambulance. You drive me." Mac started to rise again.

"Mac, maybe you should stay..."

Mac grabbed his arm. "Help me or get lost. Either way, I'm standing."

Harm helped her up. "You are too stubborn for your own good."

Mac rubbed the slightly swollen part of her face. "I think I'm swelling up."

"You think?" Harm carefully touched the swollen area. "How did the Private get close enough to hit you anyway?"

"The brig Sergeant wasn't exactly in control." Mac turned when she heard the door to the court room open and the paramedics came barging in.

"Sorry to bother you, but I'm fine." Mac gave Harm a warning glare.

Harm decided that Mac was well enough not to be taken in the ambulance. "I'll take her to the hospital myself."

The paramedics wanted to give Mac a check-up before they left and Mac reluctantly agreed. About fifteen minutes later Harm drove her to the hospital.

Harm's apartment

Later that day

Mac was sitting on Harm's couch with an ice pack on her face. The Doctor who checked her out had demanded that she'd take it very easy over the next few days and even though Mac felt that it was unnecessary she had agreed. Harm had taken her home and demanded that she'd spend the next few days on his couch or in his bed. They had just finished dinner, Mattie and Jen had left to see a movie and Harm was cleaning up the kitchen.

"Do you need anything?" Harm asked her for the hundredth time.

Mac removed the ice pack from her face and turned the swollen side towards Harm. "A new face."

"You look beautiful." Harm reassured her.

Mac rolled her eyes. "Right."

Harm came to join her on the couch. "You always look beautiful." He sat down and took her feet into his lap. "Are you in pain?"

"My pride is." Mac put the ice pack back on her face. "What kind of Marine gets decked like that?"

"There was no way for you to see that attack coming Mac. The Private should have been in chains. That brig Sergeant should be charged for dereliction of duty." Harm started rubbing Mac's feet. "At least the Private will be charged."

"She'll probably get a few more years behind bars. It couldn't happen to a nicer person." Mac leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. "You are good at that."

"At massaging your feet?" Harm chuckled. "I'm glad I can be useful for something."

"Oh, you have many talents." Mac rubbed one of her feet up his thigh.

Harm grabbed it. "Don't start something you can't finish in your condition."

Mac laughed softly. "Fine, I'll behave."

After Private Boyer's trial

The trial was finished and hopefully Private Boyer would get her life back on track as soon as she was done serving her sentence. Mac walked into her office and sat down in her chair. She was about to open a file when Harm barged in with a big smile on his face.

"Hi Mac. Go home, pack a bag and I'll pick you up at 1900."

"Where are we going?" Mac wondered.

"It's a surprise, I have plans this weekend and it includes you, me and a bed." Harm gave her a wicked smile. "Pack lightly, because you don't need much clothing."

Mac laughed softly. "You make it sound so inviting."

"See you at 1900." Harm winked at her before leaving her office.

Mac had fallen asleep in the car and woke up when Harm touched her arm lightly

"Wake up Princess."

Mac stretched. "It's 2226, Harm. Where are we?"

"Outside D.C." He opened the door. "Come on."

Mac got out of the car and looked around. "This place looks nice." She stood in front of a small country inn.

"It's really nice, but we'll be renting a cabin down by the water." He pointed to the Inn's front door. "I'll be back with the key before you know it." He gave her a wicked smile. "Don't run away, I have special plans for you."

Mac laughed softly. "I promise I won't run away."

Ten minutes later they walked down a path towards the water and soon ended up by a cabin. Harm entered first and Mac followed him, she couldn't help but gasp at what met her inside.

"Harm?" There was a nice fire and what looked to be hundreds of candles placed around the cabin. The sight took Mac's breath away.

Harm smiled sheepishly. "I wanted to do something special for you, because it's a special occasion."

Mac looked thoughtful. "Occasion?"

Harm got down on one knee. "I know this is a cliché, but Mac will you marry me?"

Of all the possible ways for Harm to ask her, going down on one knee wasn't anywhere near how Mac had pictured his proposal. She had expected him to blurt it out in a very casual setting. Maybe this was his way of making up for the way he had asked her months ago, when he wanted custody of Mattie. This was a far better way to do it.

"Harm, of course I will marry you." Mac got down on her knees as well and hugged him close.

Harm let go of the breath he had been holding. "I wasn't sure you'd say yes this time either, but I'm glad you did."

Mac smiled and kissed him sweetly. "It wasn't that I didn't want to marry you before, but it didn't feel like such a good idea to rush into it."

"I agree. " Harm took her hand and held a ring towards her. "I better get this on your finger for this to be right." He put the ring where it belonged; on her finger. "I love you Mac."

"I love you too Harm." She kissed him deeply.

The next day

Mac came back from her morning jog and found Harm still in bed. They had been up most of the night, and Harm was still in a deep sleep. Mac had woken up at 0800, ready for a new day, as usual she didn't need much sleep unlike her husband to be. She had decided to let him sleep some more and went for a jog to check the place out. It was beautiful. The water surrounding them, the birds singing from the trees, horses grazing and the smell of fresh air and flowers. Had she known about this place she would have come here years ago. It would definitely be on top of her list of places to visit again.

Mac showered quickly and dressed in a skirt and a t-shirt, she put on some sandals and went to see if she could wake Harm.

He opened his eyes and smiled. "Good morning."

Mac kissed him. "Its way past morning Harm, it's 10.30. I'm going to go see if we can get some brunch up at the Inn, come join me when you've showered and dressed."

Harm stretched and sat up in bed. "I'll be quick."

Twenty minutes later they were enjoying a nice brunch in the Inn's restaurant.

"I love this place. How did you find it?"

"My mom. She and Frank have been here and she said that I had to check it out." Harm smiled. "I'm glad you like it here, it makes it easier to drag you here for our anniversaries."

"You don't have to drag, I'll go voluntarily." Mac reassured.

"This will be our special place then." Harm reached for her hand.

Mac nodded. "It's a very special place."

They shared a knowing smile.


	17. Chapter 17

Season 9

Chapter 17

Mac looked around the store, twisting her brain to figure out what ingredient Harm had wanted her to pick up. She couldn't believe that she had forgotten about it, he had specificly told her that it was very important for the dish he was making that night.

"Mac?"

Mac turned around and came face to face with a women about her age, it was something about the short, dark haired woman that she recognised, but she couldn't quite place her. "Yes."

"You don't remember me?" The woman chuckled. "I don't blame you, it's been years. I'm Izzy, from boot camp."

It dawned on Mac who the woman was. "Oh my god, Izzy. Wow, I haven't seen you since back then."

Izzy laughed. "It's been a while, that's for sure. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Are you still in the Corps?" Mac asked.

"No, I quit years ago. These days the only troops I see are my kids. But you have made quite the career for yourself, Lt Colonel. I just saw you all over the TV on the General Watson case"

"Yes, I've been lucky."

"Luck has nothing to do with it. You were always destined to do great things, even back then when we were only a bunch of kids trying to survive boot camp. Are you married?"

"No, I actually just got engaged." Mac held up her hand to show her ring.

"So you will be quitting the Corps?"

Mac was taken aback. "No."

"So your man is okay with you being a Marine?"

"I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't." Mac decided to change the subject. "How many kids do you have?"

"Five, two boys and three girls."

"Wow, that's a lot. You must keep busy."

"It can be stressful, but I love it. I thought I would find it more difficult to quit the Corps and raise a family, but when I met my husband it was an easy decision. Do you have kids?"

"No, not yet. Harm and I have talked about it, but we'll see."

"I could never raise children while being in the military, but I guess some people can do it all."

"Yeah, some people can. I better get going, I have a dinner to attend. It was nice seeing you again."

"Yes, you too. Good luck with your wedding."

"Thank you. Bye." Mac turned around and started looking for the ingredient Harm had asked for. She wondered about the conversation she'd just had; did she have to give up her career to be a mom? Was it possible to do it all? She decided that she and Harm had some stuff to talk about.

Later

Harm's apartment

"Dinner was great Harm. I'm going to go watch TV." Mattie walked towards the door.

"What about homework?" Harm said before she could sneak away.

"Already done. And you don't need to look at it, it was easy. Good night" She slipped out the door before he could say anything else.

Mac started clearing the table. "Guess who I met today?

"Who?" Harm picked up their plates and followed her to the kitchen.

"Izzy. A woman I met in boot camp."

"Is she still in the Corps?"

"Nope, she's married with five kids."

"She gave up the Corps to become a housewife?"

"Not that surprising actually, she barely made it through boot camp."

Harm studied Mac's thoughtful look. "What's bothering you?"

Mac shrugged. "When I told her about the engagement she assumed that I was quitting the Corps, like that was the only possible solution."

Harm nodded. "For some it is."

"Yeah, I guess. Do you really think it's possible to have it all; have a great career, raise kids, have a successful marriage?"

"Of course it is possible. Don't you think so?"

"I don't know, but I hope it's possible. I can't picture myself as anything else other than a Marine. I tried civilian life once and I didn't like it. What do you think?"

"If you are asking me if I'm expecting you to quit the corps to stay home and raise my children, the answer is no. You'd be bored." Harm reached for her hand. "I don't want either of us to have to give up our careers, we'll figure out a way for both of us to stay in the military."

Mac nodded. "Okay. Do you think we'll live happily ever after?"

"Absolutely." He leaned in and rubbed his nose against hers. "I'm not looking for a housewife, I want a partner."

"I'm a pretty good partner." Mac teased.

Harm laughed softly. "You are the best partner."

Mac kissed him deeply. "I really love you."

"That's weird, because I just like you a normal amount." Harm teased.

Mac bit his lip. "Behave."

"Are you sure you want me to behave?" He had a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Well. When you put it that way..." She dragged him down for a kiss.

The next day

Harm's apartment

"Hurry up Mac, we need to get dressed." Harm came out of his bathroom clad in a towel.

Mac sat up in bed and gave him a questioning look. "Since when did you start being this effective in the morning, and when have you ever encouraged me to get dressed?

"I just want to get the day going." Harm dropped his towel and put on his boxers. "Come on."

Mac reluctantly got out of bed. "Is there anything interesting going on at JAG that I don't know about?"

"Nope." Harm found his uniform in the closet.

Mac gave him an odd look before she walked to the bathroom to take her morning shower.

Lunchtime

JAG

"We need to go." Harm appeared in Mac's doorway.

She looked up from the file she was reading. "Excuse me?"

"We need to get going." He reached for her coat and held it towards her.

Mac stood and took the coat from him. "Okay, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise. But we need to go now." He started walking and Mac grabbed her purse and followed him. What was he up to?

They drove for about fifteen minutes before Harm drove up to a house and stopped the car. He got out and waited for Mac to join him.

Mac looked around. "Harm, what are we doing here?"

"It's a nice house right?"

Mac studied the house for a moment. "Sure, it's a nice looking house. Who lives here?"

He smiled. "I was hoping that we would."

"You bought a house?

"Not yet, I would never buy a house without your agreement."

"It's a big house Harm. Can we afford this?" Mac walked closer to the house as she spoke.

"It's really under priced. The owner was killed during a robbery about a year and a half ago and no one wants to live in it. But I figured that with the price they want for it now, we could swing it." Harm stepped up behind Mac. "What do you think?"

"How did he die?" Mac questioned.

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not." Mac walked up the stairs to the porch. "It's a great house Harm."

"And it's close to work, it's a friendly neighbourhood..."

"Says the man who just told me that the last owner was killed during a robbery." Mac commented.

Harm chuckled. "As far as I know the son of the owner killed him and tried to make it look like a robbery. A family conflict."

"We'll have to stay clear of those then." Mac teased.

"If you don't shoot at me, I won't shoot at you." He laughed and joined her on the porch. "Let's go inside."

"Okay, let's."

An hour later they had walked through the entire house. "So what do you think?"

"I like it." Mac smiled. "How did you find it?"

"I have my sources." Harm teased,

"I bet you do." Mac stepped close to him. "So we'll buy a house?"

"I think we should. Are you in?" Harm put his arms around her.

"I'm in." Mac kissed him.

"Good. I love you, Mac."

"I love you too."


	18. Chapter 18

Season 9

Chapter 18

It was quiet around the table, Mattie sat with her arms crossed and looking angry. Mac and Harm didn't have any more small talk to come with and Mr Johnson kept studying his angry daughter.

Mattie turned to Harm. "Can I go now?"

"Eat your food." Harm responded.

"I'm not hungry. And I told you that I wasn't interested in having dinner with him." Mattie stood.

"Mattie.."

Mr Johnson interrupted Harm. "No Commander it's fine, I'll go." He stood. "Thanks for dinner. Bye Colonel, Commander. Mattie."

Mac stood and followed him out. "Maybe you should try talking to her about what happened with her mother." Mac suggested.

"You can't talk to someone who doesn't listen Colonel."

"That's true." Mac agreed. "Just stay sober and we'll have dinner again soon."

"I appreciate what you and the Commander are trying to do, I really want my little girl back." Mr Johnson stepped into the elevator. "Bye."

"Bye." Mac went back to the apartment and stepped into a war zone.

"You just want to get rid of me so that you and Mac can live happily ever after. I would rather live on the street than with the man who killed my mother." Mattie yelled before rushing past Mac and slamming the door behind her.

"Well, that went well." Harm ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

Mac stepped closer to Harm. "I'll go talk to her." She kissed him sweetly before walking over to Mattie and Jen's apartment.

Mac knocked on the door and Jen came to open it. "I take it the dinner didn't go well?"

"Not really, no." Mac stepped inside the apartment. "Is she in her room?"

"Yes." Jen said.

Mac knocked on Mattie's door and walked inside. "Have you cooled down a little?"

Mattie kept staring at her computer screen, ignoring Mac's presence.

Mac sat down on Mattie's bed. "Let me tell you about a little girl who was always afraid that her father would mistake her for her mother and put his fist through her face. My dad was a drunk, a mean drunk. My mother left him and me with him the day of my fifteenth birthday. He had threatened to kill her and she just couldn't take it anymore. I was so angry with both of them and I started drinking just to get away from it all. I ran away from home when I was seventeen and I never saw my parent's again until years later. I sobered up and I joined the Marines, but that anger never really left. When I eventually went to see my dad, he was in a coma and he never woke up. I never got to tell him how his abuse had messed me up and I never got to hear him tell me how proud of me he was. I had to hear that from a priest who my dad had talked to. My mom showed up, she was there to see me and I realized that I had to forgive her and bury my dad to make some peace for myself. The anger that had followed me all my life didn't really hurt anyone else but me. I never trusted anyone, except for my Uncle, I never let anyone come close and I always picked relationships that were doomed from the start." Mac stood. "Do yourself a favour Mattie and deal with your anger now, before you let it mess up your life. Let Harm help you, he wants to help you so you don't have to end up like him and me. We both, in different ways, let our parent's mess us up and keep us from being happy." Mac opened the door and was about to step outside. "Just think about it." Then she left the girl alone.

The next day

Harm's apartment

Harm had just put the lasagne in the oven when Mattie came in the door to his apartment.

"Hi Mattie. Had a good day at school?" Harm asked.

"It was fine." Mattie sat down on one of the bar stools and faced Harm. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I know you just want to help me, but I can't just forgive my dad. He's a drunk, he killed my mom and I don't think it's that easy to just sober up."

Harm sat down and gave Mattie a piece of paper. "This is the accident report from the night of the accident and your dad was sober."

Mattie grabbed the paper. "What? That's not possible."

"The police checked his blood and it was clean. He hadn't been drinking that night Mattie."

"So you're saying that the accident didn't happen because he had been drinking?" Mattie stood. "That's... I need to leave." She rushed to the door and disappeared.

It was late at night, and Harm was packing some boxes for the move to the new house, when Mattie came back to his apartment.

"I read my mom's letters." Mattie said before Harm could say anything. "She really loved my dad, but she hated that he was hurting himself like he did. I'm going to give him a second chance."

Harm smiled. "I'm glad. And I think that with your support your dad will manage to really stay sober this time."

"I talked to him a little earlier and we agreed to meet soon." Mattie went to sit down on a bar stool. "Is there any food left?"

Harm nodded. "There is, I'll heat it for you." He got the lasagne from the fridge.

"Do you ever worry that Mac might start drinking again?" Mattie wondered.

Harm put the lasagne in the microwave and came to join Mattie. "No, I don't worry. Mac is very strong and she has learned how to deal with difficult things. I think we are both learning how to talk about what's difficult and that makes it easier for us."

Mattie nodded. "She told me about her parent's. That sucks."

"It really does." The microwave beeped and Harm went to check on the food. "She's been through a lot, we both have, but none of that matters right now. I think it's time to let the past rest and focus on the future."

"I agree." Mattie looked around the apartment. "It's kinda weird to see your apartment this empty."

Harm put a plate down in front of Mattie. "It's going to be weird not living here anymore, but I can't wait to move. What about you?"

Mattie took a bite of the lasagne. "I'll miss living with Jen, but it'll be nice to live like a family. And my room at the house is huge, that's pretty cool."

Harm stood. "I better keep packing, we want to move everything over to the house this weekend so that we can prepare my apartment for sale. And you better pack your own stuff Mattie."

"I will. Will Mac sell her apartment too?"

"She already did, and we promised the new owner that it would be ready for her to move in next weekend."

"I can help you guys move if you want too?" Mattie offered.

Harm laughed softly. "Maybe you should start by putting your own stuff into boxes."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will." Mattie continued to eat dinner while Harm continued to pack.

The next day

Mac's apartment

Harm walked through Mac's open door and looked around for more boxes that were ready to go into the car. He was about to grab a box off the floor when Mac walked out of the bedroom rubbing her back.

"Mac, will you just go see a Doctor."

"I'm fine Harm, it's probably just from lifting boxes."

"You've been in pain for a long time now and it's getting worse, I think it's time to see a Doctor." Harm walked over to where Mac stood. "Please."

"I don't have time." Mac pointed to the boxes. "We have a lot to do."

"I don't care, I want you to see a Doctor and I will keep nagging until you do."

"When we are done moving and set up at the new house, maybe I'll go."

"You'll go on Monday." Harm gave her a stern look. "I'll call Bethesda and make an appointment."

"Harm..."

He cut her off. "It's not a discussion, I'm putting my foot down."

"You're putting your foot down? You're not my boss, I don't have to do what you say." Mac argued.

Harm ignored her. "I'm making an appointment." He reached for a box. "First thing on Monday, I'm making you an appointment." He smiled and walked out the door.

Mac slumped down on the couch. "Stubborn man." She said to the empty room.

Monday

Bethesda Naval Hospital

Mac was sitting on an examination table while Harm was seated in a chair a few feet away. The Doctor examined Mac's back.

"Does this hurt?"

"No."

"This?"

Mac winced. "A little."

The Doctor wrote something down on a chart.

"What do you think it is, Doctor?" Harm asked.

"It's hard to say without a more thorough examination, but the pain is not coming from your back Colonel."

"It's not?" Mac was surprised.

"I want to do a laparoscopy, do you know what that is?"

Harm stood and walked over to where Mac sat. "Surgery?"

"I will make a small incision and insert a small camera to look at your insides Colonel." The Doctor explained.

"Are you thinking cancer Doctor?" Mac wondered.

"There's no way to know before I take a look. Let's make an appointment to do the surgery."

Mac dressed and made an appointment with the doctor before she and Harm left the Doctor's office.

"What are you thinking?" Harm asked as they entered the car.

"Let's just wait and see." Was Mac's short response.

They didn't say anything more about the subject.

Wednesday

Bethesda Naval Hospital

Mac had just woken up after the surgery, she felt a little groggy and her stomach was a little sore. She saw Harm standing by the window, looking out.

"Harm."

He turned. "Hi, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"A little sore, but fine. Did you talk to the Doctor?"

Harm reached for her hand. "She'll be dropping by soon, she wanted to talk to both of us."

Ten minutes later the Doctor appeared. "Hi Colonel, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, a little sore."

"The soreness will disappear in a little while. You should take it easy the rest of the day and tomorrow."

Mac nodded. "What do I need to know Doctor?"

"You have early signs of endometriosis, that means that there is scar tissue on your reproductive organs. I was able to remove most of it."

Mac swallowed hard. "What does this mean?"

"It means that you don't have cancer, you will be just fine, but it might make it more difficult to have children."

"Oh."

"I said more difficult, not impossible." The Doctor reassured.

Harm was more interested in Mac's health. "But she's going to be fine. Healthwise I mean?"

"Yes, Commander."

"And the pain she had?"

"It will disappear now that the scar tissue has been removed."

They talked for a while longer, before the Doctor excused herself. Mac was released as soon as she was well enough and Mac and Harm went home.

Three days later

Harm and Mac's house

Mac walked down the stairs and looked around the room. It was a mess, boxes were everywhere. They, or more accurately Harm, had finished up at her apartment the previous day and given the keys to the woman who would be moving in.

Harm came in the front door. "Hi, you're up. How are you feeling? Any pain? Can I get you something?"

"Harm, I'm fine." Mac interrupted his questions. "I'm as good as new."

"Are you sure?" Harm stepped around a few boxes and came closer to her.

"Harm, I swear to god I will..."

Harm reached his hands up in surrender. "Okay, I'm done hovering."

"Good." Mac bent down and grabbed a box.

"What are you doing?" Harm took the box from her.

"Unpacking. Or I was until you stole my box." She pointed to the box he was holding.

Harm put the box down. "I'll do that, you go relax."

"Harm, I'm fine." Mac grabbed a new box and walked to the living room.

Harm followed her. "Okay then, let's unpack."

They worked in silence for a little while, before Harm decided that it was time they had a talk.

"Are we going to talk about it?"

Mac put down the lamp she had pulled out of one of the boxes and turned to him. "Not right now."

"But..."

Mac cut him off. "Don't push Harm."

Harm sighed and walked over to her. "I'm sorry." He kissed her head. "I'll grab some more boxes from the hallway, maybe we'll get them out of the way today." He walked away from her and towards the hallway.

"Harm."

Mac's voice made him turn.

Mac smiled weakly. "I love you."

Harm nodded. "I love you too." He gave her a small smile before returning to his task.


	19. Chapter 19

Season 9

Chapter 19

A week later

JAG

There was a weird vibe around the office, everyone had heard the news of the Admiral's retirement. On top of that Harm was worried about Mac and her condition, she hadn't wanted to talk about it so it was difficult for him to know what she was feeling. They had finally gotten their house in a close to tidy condition and it was starting to feel like a home.

Mattie had spent some time with her dad lately and Harm knew that they were close to a reconciliation. It made him feel both happy and sad. He was happy that Mattie was happy, but at the same time sad that she probably would be moving back to her father in the near future.

Harm looked up when he saw Mac enter his office. "Did you hear the news?" She asked.

"Yes, he's actually retiring. I never thought that he would. It's weird and I can't really picture JAG without him."

Mac sat down in front of Harm's desk. "It's going to change things."

"You mean regarding our working relationship?"

Mac nodded. "Yes."

"It'll be fine Mac, let's not worry about it yet." Harm stood, he went to close the door and came to sit down in the chair beside her. "It'll be a while before a new JAG will be appointed and we'll just have to take it from there."

"Yeah, I guess." Mac agreed. "Mattie will be spending the weekend at her house with her father. Looks like they're starting to heal."

"It looks like it and I'm happy for her." Harm reached for Mac's hand. "Pretty soon it'll be just you and me in the house."

"About that." Mac leaned close to him. "I've been thinking. How about if we get busy making a baby?"

Harm hadn't expected her to say that. "Oh...Okay, we can do that. Is this what you've been thinking about all week?"

Mac nodded. "Pretty much, yeah. I just needed some time to wrap my head around what the Doctor told us, but now I'm thinking that we better get busy before we run out of time. Neither of us is getting any younger and with my condition..."

Harm cut her off with a kiss. "I think it's a great idea Mac."

Mac gave him a sweet smile. "I love you."

"I love you too." He kissed her again. "So much."

Three days later

Mac and Harm's house

Harm was busy straightening his uniform on the bed, just to see if everything was as it should be. They were going to the Admiral's retirement party, a final farewell with their boss. It was weird to think about JAG without Admiral Chegwidden, he'd be a hard Judge Advocate General to follow for whomever would have the position next.

Harm watched Mac come out of their bathroom only clad in bra and panties. "Your formal wear for the night Colonel?"

"I was thinking about it, but I fear it might not be too well received in public." Mac gave her hair a final look in the mirror. "My hair was so much easier to deal with when it was short."

"I think a lot of people would be thankful if you walked around in your underwear." Harm smiled teasingly.

Mac ignored him and started dressing. "It's going to be different at JAG when the Admiral is gone."

Harm nodded. "I was just thinking about it, the next JAG will have big shoes to fill." He gave his uniform a final look before he started dressing.

"The next JAG might not be too happy about us being in the same Command either. Have you thought about what you want to do? Who will stay at JAG?" Mac had finished dressing and looked in the mirror. "I look good in blue."

"You look good in anything." Harm had finished dressing as well and stepped up behind her. He gave her a short kiss and wrapped his arms around her. "I don't care who stays at JAG as long as neither of us is sent far away."

Mac relaxed into his arms. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"I guess we will." Harm kissed her once more, before letting her go. "We better leave soon or we'll be late."

The next day

Harm and Mac's house

Harm stretched in bed and found the spot beside him empty. The clock on the night stand told him that it was six o'clock in the morning and it was a Sunday morning. Why wasn't Mac in bed this early on a Sunday? He got out of bed and put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt before he went to look for his wife to be.

He found her outside on the porch, on the swing.

She turned her head when she heard him. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He sat down by her side.

"I never went to sleep actually." She leaned into his side and put her head on his shoulder.

Harm wrapped his arm around her. "Why didn't you sleep?"

"I wasn't tired."

"I'm tired." Harm complained.

"Then why are you up?"

"I was lonely. And I thought maybe you had run off with the gardener or something?" He joked.

"We don't have a gardener." She pointed out.

"Is there any way that I might be able to persuade you to come back to bed with me?" Harm whispered in her ear.

"I like it here." Mac snuggled closer to him.

"But the bed is just so much more comfortable."

"I wasn't talking about the porch swing, although I must say I like that as well, I was talking about this house. I like it here, with you. I'm happy."

"That's a good thing." Harm kissed her head.

"I want us to be able to make a baby together."

"We will."

"What if my condition makes it impossible for us to have a baby?"

"Then we'll adopt. It doesn't matter to me how we have children as long as we have them together. The important thing is that we have each other, I never want to lose you."

"You won't lose me Harm, and I don't ever want to lose you either."

Harm pulled her even closer and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you more." Mac kissed him again.

They sat in silence for a while, just enjoying the silence of the morning.

"Should we set a date for our wedding?" Mac asked after a while.

"We should." Harm agreed.

"Any suggestions?"

"I'd marry you right now." Harm said.

Mac sat up a little straighter. "Let's do it."

"What?"

Mac stood and dragged Harm up as well. "Tomorrow, we arrange the wedding certificates. We find a church and see how soon the priest can do the ceremony, we'll call our closest friends and family with the time and place and we do it. No fuss, no crazy planning, we just do it."

Harm laughed. "That sounds crazy enough to be successful. Okay, I'm in."

Mac kissed Harm deeply. "Let's go to bed." She grabbed his hand and dragged him inside.

Three days later

It was a sunny day when Mac and Harm stood in front of the priest, promising to be together forever. Their closest friends were there and Harm's parent's. Harm wore a simple black suit and Mac wore a simple white dress, there was no fuss or stress, just a relaxed couple joined for life.

"I pronounce you husband and wife, you might kiss the bride." Harm did kiss the bride and she kissed him back, a little while later congratulations filled the church before the bride and groom left to spend a week locked away from the world.

A year later the happy couple welcomed their first born into the world, their own little miracle.

The End


End file.
